This is for BS5

Toaster Oven

Pink Flowering Trees

That is what I looked up when trying to find the exact name of these trees. They are some sort of species of cherry tree but in high school we called these "Bitch Trees." It was our mascot if you will to our "Bitch Club" which met under these trees, after school, before play practice began. I do not for the life of me remember why we chose that name. It wasn't even a club really, just our tight knit group of 9 friends.

We all did the play because it meant being able to hang out together during the weekdays after school without parents. Play practice didn't start until 5:30pm so we would maybe do homework, gab about our guy friends (who we secretly or not so secretly want to be our boyfriends) and basically hash out life as teenagers in the Philly burbs. We loved these trees and the blooming pink flowers were a sign of warmer weather and summer. Every year I still call or email my friend A and say "The Bitch trees are blooming!"

I have scads of notes and letters from high school days, folded into footballs and odd squares, passed 'secretly' in the hall or in class referencing these trees. I have been toying with the idea of scanning them and posting one now and again. We cry with laughter when we read them as a group. There are so many silly inside jokes though that I am not sure they would provide that much amusement other than to us. I guess since this is MY blog I can do what I want. Maybe this weekend if the weather turns nasty as it is supposed to, I'll see what I can go about that whole scanning thing.

By the way, if you think I am kidding about obscure inside jokes all I have to say is, there are drawings of flying sock puppets involved and guys named Wanda that are fishes. Stay tuned.

It's the Little Things

that make your day...

My book from Amazon arrived today in one day instead of the two day I paid for. :)

This is my brother...

The one on the right.

I actually wasn't really sure if I had anything to write about today and then my brother sent me this picture. That is him at a trade show where he met Paul Sr.

T (my brother) is 8 years younger than me. So yes, he was a 'surprise.' T is a really good guy. He has been a volunteer firefighter since he was 16 years old. He is now in marketing with a company that makes fightfighting equipment AND he occasionally teaches at the fire school at Texas A&M. Pretty cool stuff. I have never seen him in action for a fire and I don't think I want to. He and his longtime girlfriend D also own horses.
When he was little he was the bane of my existance at times. We had to babysit him and he was a terror. One time he put a hole in our fish tank with a tack hammer (age 3). He told on us when we had a party at the house when Mom and Dad were out of town (even after my sister's friend bribed him with micro machines). He also spied on me when I was in the basement with my boyfriends then reported back to my Mom.
When he got older, he was more fun and we were able to appriciate each other more. As time goes on, I hope this will continue as he is a pretty cool guy and has a lot of the great qualities my Dad had. I will probably just always be the older sister who showed up to his graduation way hungover.

Across the Way

Quick shout out to BS5 and Moments From Suburbia, new friends from the UK. P will be very glad to hear I have made new friends who are that much closer to EPL and all things British as he kinda wishes he was.

The Check

I have this check that I can't throw away. It is for $50 and it was written in 2002. It's from my Dad. I remember him giving it to me for absolutely no reason. He said, "Here this is for you and P." It's in his writing, his all caps but the letters that are supposed to be lowercase are just caps by half the size. It has his messy signature that I always thought was so cool as a child. It was never cashed because at some point we lost it. (I know, morons. Trust me, it wasn't that we didn't need it.) From the stamp on the check is looks like we found it and P tried to deposit it almost a year later. Unfortunately, since it was to both of us and only his signature was on it, they wouldn't let us. The date on the stamp is October 21, 2003. My Dad passed away on October 31st, 2003.

This check has bounced around the apartment we were in at the time and the home we are in now. I found it most recently in a drawer I was re-organizing. I keep stashing it places because I can not bring myself to throw it away and let me tell you, a pack rat I am not. Now I need to find a new place. Right now it is sitting in front of me and for some reason the writing just gets to me.

He was a Chemical Engineer, a really good one. Later on when saving the planet became more and more important, he was called an Environmental Engineer. He was a numbers and logic guy. He needed to write it all down and when I mean all I mean ALL. He designed waste water treatment plants and cleaned up old army munitions sites and did it right. When a certain government department refused to pay the company he worked for my Dad had such incredibly intricate, copious notes that the government looked like idiots trying to prove that the work they asked for wasn't done. He liked to take notes on graph paper, as I do now. I am not sure if it spoke to the order he liked or it was just easier because there was lots of it around. I just always remember looking at his writing and thinking how cool and it was, in all caps, kinda bucking the system I was used to in my all girls private Catholic school (hell).
I remember the letters he wrote us from Egypt when he was there for 6 weeks on a project. They were always like 6 pages long, describing everything he saw in such detail so that we could see it at home. He did the same when he was in Costa Rica and the UAE. You can tell, he traveled a lot. The writing was one of those things I could always count on, whether it was a note where he was staying or a long letter from and exotic place. I think that's why I don't want to let the check go or more to the point, the writing. Right now, he is somewhere else, it may be exotic, it may be wonderful but I know I won't be getting a letter from there from him.

Happy Birthday, Dad, wherever you are.

Halo...Again

So there are three grown men playing Halo 3 in my family room. There are usually four but one had other commitments (a life). They will probably play till 7pm b/c P told me they would be playing only until 6:30pm. The only thing different from them and 12 year-olds is the fact that beer is involved. I have even occasionally had one or two of them stay for dinner. Tonight is not one of those nights because up until about1pm, I thought this was a Halo Free Sunday and I planned dinner for me and P only.

You need to understand, I really don't have much against the whole video game thing. I can actually play although I usually end up being a mark for target practice. It's just this has become an every weekend thing and it takes over the house with all the shooting, grenades and blowing up noises. Our bedroom is right next to the action so that is like vibration central...and not in a good way. I came up to the office intending to make it my own but there is so much crap that needs to be done it's a little overwhelming. So I decided to sit down and blog a bit to kill time...well..I think that's about all I have to say at the moment so I guess I'll clean

the office

and hang pictures

and move stuff around

or maybe just sit here and imagine it.

Football Goodbye?

I have been playing football in a coed rec league for 7 years, two seasons a year. When I first started I was playing on like 5 teams and hung out all day drinking and grilling out in Fairmont Park. We'd hit the sponsor bar after that and then go out later. We were a huge group that everyone knew because of our colors, our size and our playing.

Now, I am old and play on one team and hang out for a little while drinking a couple beers. When you play as a girl on these teams your participation is crucial because one play out of three plays has to be a 'girl play', either qb-ed by a girl or caught by a girl. We always have had girls that can play really well. That's how we won championships. We even had a team with a girl qb and mostly girls on the field and won a championship. We were the girls that other teams would ask us to sub when they were short girls, you had to have 3 on the field at all times out of eight. Anyway, we could do it all catch the bombs, come up with the ball in double coverage, intercept, you name it.

This is why this season is extremely disappointing. We girls are being treated like window dressing. Plays are never called for us specifically, we get the "Girls, get open." crap. It's pretty damn sad that we all have been playing for this long and we have a qb who is basically causing us to lose games because he forgets that we can actually play. I would never play for a team that did this 5 years ago. I would see this happen with teams we would crush because they didn't put faith in their girls. I would see it in teams that asked us to sub when they were short girls and I'd leave them after the first half.

I have been actually thinking that this will be my last season because of this problem. It is just very hard to let go for many reasons, I have so many good memories. I met my husband through this league, I met most of my friends though it as well when I moved back to the area. All of the people I play with, with few exceptions (newer people causing the problems) were at my wedding. I have never missed a season and the only time I missed more than 2 games in a row was when my Dad died. Since they were all at the viewing though, standing in line for 2 hours, they were there for that too.

It's not that I think that all my friends will fall off the face of the earth. I know we'll still be friends. It's the, "I play football. I am a girl, I am 35 years old and I am good at it" mentality that is kinda like a badge of honor. I don't look like an Amazon who's gender is questionable and yet I am still an athlete that would take on a guy on the field any day. Maybe it's silly and vain but it's part of me and it's what I am struggling with today.

Friday Crackberry Pic: G-dog

This is G-dog in the kitchen. She is probably hoping P drops something for her and looking at me the same way I'd look at someone taking a pic of me this early in the morning. Oh, and those are P's legs...in his robe.

Meeting the Boyfriend

In about an hour I am supposed to go over to the bar across the street to meet my friend for a beer for her birthday. I will get to meet her new boyfriend who, it seems has been treating her much better than her last one. The last one was a shiftless, lazy, jackass. I knew he was a shiftless, lazy, jackass at the time but she was so happy with him most of the time, I don't think me saying, "He's going to drain you of your happiness and self worth in about six months." would go over too well.

We have been friends for about 2 years now so this was the only guy I knew that she dated. I do know that she falls hard and fast so meeting this one worries me. What if I get that s,l, j vibe from him? Do I say anything to her? Should I threaten him with bodily harm? (Ok, I know the answer to that one.) This is not high school or dating in your 20's. In my opinion, there should be no time wasted with losers.

On the other hand, I am not exactly on familiar turf, I've been married for 5 years. I don't know what it's like out there currently. From the descriptions, it's not pretty. I just don't like seeing a friend cling to a bit of flotsom just because it's there. I'm brutal when it comes to this subject because I did date one complete loser and one abuser. I know the signs and I so don't want to deal with you if you fall into one of those catagories and are anywhere near someone I care about. I think you should be ripped out of the dating circut like a child caught peeing in the pool and corraled in like, Camden or something. Then again, as I said, I might not have room for judgement since I am not in that pool anymore.

What I will probably do it give this guy the evil eye a little bit (which won't be difficult considering my left eye has given to twitching today) and see how thoughtful he is. You know, like if he like's to buy his girlfriend's friends beers. He might be ok.

Work Funny

So today is Administrative Professionals Day. Did you know that? Anyway, one of the women in our office received a card and gift certificate from her bosses. The gift certificate was for a dermatologist. One of the bosses says, "You know you can go for like Botox, Restilin and other treatments. So and So's wife goes there." So and so's wife is 30 and already botoxing it up. This woman is in her 40's, petite, cute and never talked to them about even wanting something like that.

What exactly are you supposed to think after getting that?

The Breast Fairy

Ok, this is actually a childhood story that took place on our way up to Cape Cod one summer. My brother was like 5 so I was 13 and my sister was 12. I am estimating. Anyway, we'd been listening to a tape of Bill Cosby's standup called "Those of you With or Without Children Will Understand." Bill was telling the story about how his little girl was concerned about the fact that she didn't have breasts yet as she was about to start middle school and some of her friends had already...ahem...bloomed in that area. So she was wondering when she would get hers. So Bill tells the story of the Breast Fairy who flies around from house to house and she has a bicycle pump, sometimes she pumps a little, sometimes she pumps a lot. My little brother turns to my sister and says.

"She must have had a hole in her pump when she got to you."

I think we almost ran off the road.

This is a Little Addicting

So I have hit upon a number of blogs today by clicking the links of other blogs and BOOM! I think my Blog list is at like 30 now. Any other rookie bloggers experience this?

Deadliest Book Signing

Yes, I am a geek. No, I am not a redneck. I like Deadliest Catch. It just so happens that Sig, Andy and Jonathan were at a local bookstore for a book signing last night. I went with my Mom, had dinner and then stood at the back of a crowd during a Q&A with the guys. It was fun watching some people become offended at the occasional swearing and off color sexual reference. I just wanted to shake those people and say, "Do you watch the show? These guys do this all the time. They are fishermen. Did you expect them to censor themselves for your bratty kid who is crying because they are hungry?" That last hungry kid pissed me off so I had to mention it. That kid also told his mother to f*ck off so I don't know why she was so worried that these guys were cursing now and again. Anyway, I got my books signed and a pic with the guys. I would have tried something like conversation but there was a bookstore (nazi) employee that was getting all pissy for people taking too long in the signing line. I offered her a Xanax but she just looked at me with contempt. I did better with the other bookstore employee when I got the Flyers score off my crackberry for him and he let me get a better picture.

There were some real winners at this booksigning. I would probably do my karma serious harm if I actually posted the catty comments running through my head last night. Things like:

"Go home and brush your tooth."

"Sweetie, it's 2007 not 1987. Maybe those bangs need to come down and the acid wash needs to just go"

"Should you BE in the women's bathroom?"

"If your kid hits my purse one more time, I am showing him the sexuality section and giving him a picture book called "The Kama Sutra."

There were more but my allergy medicine is making me forget most of them. I'll post the pic of me and the guys when I get a chance to download it off my camera.

The Great Balloon Escape

...or why P was in B I G trouble on Saturday morning.

I had 1 job to do for this shower I was helping to host; get balloons for the front gate of the home where the shower was taking place. I ordered them Friday for 8:45am Saturday. I needed to be at the home at noon to help set things up etc. Considering that the shower was for my boss' wife (also my friend and boss P's best friend for too long to remember) I needed to be on time. Saturday morning was beautiful and I asked P if he would mind picking the balloons up for me so I could take G-dog on a longer than usual walk. He said that he would then started mumbling about maybe going to Lowes too in order to get the rest of the things we needed to finish the closet. He said that it probably wasn't a good idea because he really needed more than one person to help load and on load. So

Me: "Then don't do it now."
P: "But I am going all the way over there. I just need paneling and 2/4's."
Me: "So? It's not like you are going to do anything with the materials this weekend. Wait until tomorrow or next week. Just get some bagels and we'll have them when you get back."
P: Ok.

This is where I should have specifically made sure that he was JUST going to get the balloons and bagels but silly me wanted to get moving. So I take G-dog for about an hour and a half, come home, feed her, start the coffee and take a shower. Now, I was surprised that it was after 10am and P was still not home. It was about a 30 minute round trip but I needed to get ready so I left it at that. Then, 11am rolls around, no P. I call and P who is extremely pissed off and tells me that he DID, in fact, go to Lowes and it was a nightmare and he "Doesn't need this from me right now." and hangs up. Now P is not a hanger-upper, that's me. I found it odd and I am getting pretty angry at this point because he knows that I needed to be at the shower at noon.

11:30, P rolls up and starts chucking stuff out of the back of the SUV, I notice there is no paneling and only 6 balloons. I ask him where the balloons are, "They are gone." He says. Then I notice that there is no paneling on the top of the car. I am too mad at the fact that he made me really late, was selfish and blah, blah, blah to get into what exactly transpired during his excursion but by the time I left....P thought I might be staying at my Mom's the rest of the weekend. It was bad.

Turns out, not only did P wait in line at Lowes for like 30 minutes he also didn't tie the paneling down correctly on top of the car. When he left, at 25mph, it flew up and split in half before he even left the shopping center. He pulls over, throws that stuff off the top of the car (yes, leaving it there) and takes off...forgetting that the sunroof is still open so he can keep an eye on the paneling that is no longer there. Balloons are the sucked out of the sunroof and he managed to save 6.

Later on, when we were at dinner with the baby showeree, she asked P, why she only had 6 balloons. She had wanted more.

He he he. She's a good egg.

Back Pain is Annoying

When I lived in NC for college, I used to go deep sea fishing with my boyfriend at the time and our boss. The last time I went, I injured my neck while we were negotiating pretty deep swells. Ever since then, out of practically nowhere I will once again experience the same pain only more spread out. This is why I have not been posting. The act of sitting at my computer and moving a mouse around was excrutiating, as was the G-dog pulling on her leash when I needed to take her outside. I finally laid flat on the floor and tried to do a few yoga poses to see if I could work it out a little. Seemed to help but I can feel it creeping up from the right center of my back. Ugh.

Boring post I know. Just wanted to post something to avoid letting it go.

I am 35. Why Did I Mix Champagne and Hard Liquor?

I went to college and one of the things you learn there is what and how to drink alcohol. Most of the silly rhymes don't actually work, "Alcohol then beer, in the clear." Whatever. Anyway, I do know that mixing many different types of alcohol is a bad, bad, bad thing. So I am still trying to figure out what posessed me to begin my work "Team Night" out with 2 beers and then Red Bull and Champagne (don't worry, it was not 'good' champagne. I would not pollute good stuff with rocket fuel). What I do know is that by the time the limo arrived on Friday night to take us out for a fun night of good food and drinking, I was irritated with CPA's and clients and waiting around, drinking a lot sounded really, really good. I think that is what caused me to drink so flippin' fast...then mix stuff up. Also, I was not paying for anything so I ordered fun drinks at the martini bar...before dinner and good drinks during dinner. I was told this morning that I did an Irish Car Bomb at a bar I didn't even remember going to. Anyway, I made it home somehow and for my punishment I had the W O R S T hangover I have E V E R had on the nicest spring day we've had yet. That was pretty bad.
What is interesting is, this is not me. I am not usually out of control at all. I have control issues therefore I am usually the one flipping out about if 2 beers will affect my playing skills the next day. So, when I let go...I let goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. This happens maybe once a year since I stopped partying (see: got married five years ago). It takes me a week to get my system back on track: food all tastes weird (and I love my food), my head spazes out in headaches randomly, my stomach feels like a deflated balloon that got beat up in a really bad high school fight. Even knowing all that, I still had:
2 beers
3/4 bottle champs w/ Redbull
1 Dirty Shirley
1 Smarty Pants
3 Sangria type drinks at dinner (maybe more)
1 (at least) Irish Car Bomb

All in the span of probably 4 hours.

Did I learn my lesson this time? Don't quite know. Do I feel like I did? I sure did on Saturday.

Last night I was a little irritated that we had no wine for dinner.

Starting to Get the Hang of Being the One Without Kids

Not sure if I have written about this before. I could just check my meagre posts but since I am at the office and don't have a lot of time I'll say I didn't. P and I don't have kids. We are not even sure we are going to have kids, G-dog is difficult enough. (You mean we have to feed her EVERY day?! joke people!). I think we are at the point where litterally every couple we know (that lives in the continential US) either has kids or is pregnant. This is what I call "The Cheese Stands Alone" complex. You are fine with not having kids at the moment and ok with knowing you never might BUT you are at a considereable disadvantage when EVERYONE else can contribute to a conversation about say, potty training and you are there trying to think of anything that might be kind of relevant.
My old way of dealing with it was when people would talk about things their infants or babies did and I had nothting to say I would jokingly compare it to dealing with my husband on the same subject (like time out or no dessert). It did though, to me, get old after awhile.
Now when people talk about their kids and I compare it to a situation with my dog they look at me like I am insane. No, I don't think my dog is human but she is a responsibility and I do have to go home instead of going to happy hour to let her out and feed her. Jeez!
Now, I just realize I need to go with the flow. Last night I was at my bookclub and while there was a TON of kid talk, there was also other stuff. I felt like I could relate more than I had in the past though. Maybe the fact that kid talk around me all the time now has made me at least understand the language (kinda like being immursed in any culture). Maybe it's because these women are all intellegent and want to talk about more than one topic over dinner but also love their kids and want everyone to know about them (compliment, felt I needed to say that because it read weird). I am not sure. I do know that I am not sure if I have what it takes to have kids and I am really happy to know people that do. Or maybe it's becuase this was part of the conversation:

A: So I got a letter from F's teacher at school. Seems that while F was in the bathroom using the urinal one of the other boys came up and saw his penis and started telling other kids about how big it was. The teacher wrote me this insanely serious letter about it, like he had been abused or something. When you are a kindergarten teacher and you can't laugh at that, it's time to retire.
- as told by a teacher with 2 boys

S1: N needs a change but I don't want to wake him up. Maybe if I had some saran wrap I could just cover his carseat with it and change him when I get home.
S2: I bet the kitchen has saran wrap. That'll work.
-moms with 2 kids.

I love my bookclub...even though they all have kids. ;)

Team Night

My boss wrote this as an idea of what to do Friday for our team night out as none of us could agree on what to do. He IM-ed to me. I joked that I would put it on my blog...and here it is.

*Names have been altered to protect the guilty/innocent*

Ok, here's the deal. met at the office, off to Park around the corner for kegs stands and a round of dizzy bats, followed by pizza at Illiano's. Then sushi and shots at Spamps, then down to yunk so A can give a shout out to his peeps from his sweet ride, stop by the S estate for some half life / halo, whatever you call it, drink every time you get killed unless P killed you and it doesn't count - oh yeah, he wasn't invited, so he'd have to leave the house. next is keep away from g-dog. Anyone who gets caught has to drink. Then down town for cheesesteaks, grab some forty's and head to lemon hill where we reminisce about old times, crew, soccer and how cool we once were. A can spill more beer than W and I drink. We'll finish the night off with four bottle of boones

Starbucks Freak Out

So I am not in the best of moods on Saturday when I head to the SB on City Ave to drown my sorrows in a Peppermint White Mocha. We lost our game because people didn't bother showing up for the game and that JUST PISSES ME OFF. Anyway, point is I am not happy. I go to SB, order my drink and wait FOR-FLIPPIN'-EVER. It's not even busy. Anyway, I get to my car finally and look at my cup because it is not exactly the be PWM I have ever had and check the side for the secret code. There on the side (in addition to the correct secret code) is a little note that says "Smile - Jen". W H A T ! In the first place, I didn't tell anyone my name, in the second place you made me a bad drink, took forever with it and I have a right not to smile today! So I am driving, wondering who the flip I know in that SB. Who knows my name is Jen? I am now moving my drink in circles hoping that all the WM and Peppermint is at the bottom because they didn't stir it. Better but still not good enough for the $. Anyway, I am still contemplating who the hell knows me there when I realize...the person who was at the register's name was probably Jen and she wrote it on there either for me or for the barista (who sucked).

Or...someone knows me there and I don't know them...and they know my drink now. And they suck at making it.