In about an hour I am supposed to go over to the bar across the street to meet my friend for a beer for her birthday. I will get to meet her new boyfriend who, it seems has been treating her much better than her last one. The last one was a shiftless, lazy, jackass. I knew he was a shiftless, lazy, jackass at the time but she was so happy with him most of the time, I don't think me saying, "He's going to drain you of your happiness and self worth in about six months." would go over too well.
We have been friends for about 2 years now so this was the only guy I knew that she dated. I do know that she falls hard and fast so meeting this one worries me. What if I get that s,l, j vibe from him? Do I say anything to her? Should I threaten him with bodily harm? (Ok, I know the answer to that one.) This is not high school or dating in your 20's. In my opinion, there should be no time wasted with losers.
On the other hand, I am not exactly on familiar turf, I've been married for 5 years. I don't know what it's like out there currently. From the descriptions, it's not pretty. I just don't like seeing a friend cling to a bit of flotsom just because it's there. I'm brutal when it comes to this subject because I did date one complete loser and one abuser. I know the signs and I so don't want to deal with you if you fall into one of those catagories and are anywhere near someone I care about. I think you should be ripped out of the dating circut like a child caught peeing in the pool and corraled in like, Camden or something. Then again, as I said, I might not have room for judgement since I am not in that pool anymore.
What I will probably do it give this guy the evil eye a little bit (which won't be difficult considering my left eye has given to twitching today) and see how thoughtful he is. You know, like if he like's to buy his girlfriend's friends beers. He might be ok.
8 comments:
I've always felt like, if you really care about someone, you have one opportunity to tell them gently how you really feel if you get the ick vibe. After that, she'll take what she wants and you have to be supportive. LOL that you refer to dating as "out there" and that you used the word flotsom. I'll laugh at that for a good couple hours. Flotsom. It's funny to say outloud. Anyway, good luck with your friend and her new boyfriend, let us know how it goes.
So, what happened? what did you think of the guy?
The guys was actually very cool. Like one of those cool artsy guys that also happens to have motivation which is good. He's in school but managed to make her paper flowers which were beautiful AND sent her a dozen sunflowers, her favorite. On fist impressions I'll give him an A.
Dating sucks, but Im picturing marriage as worse. Its better to just have one night stands. Meaningless sex always works out. You know, there isnt any expectations?
My aunt actually had 7 human girls and 8 non human girls and 11 non human boys. If were just referring to dogs and cats. Add the pet mice to that and its ALOT more, but those were usually fed to the pet snakes.
We were the essence of white trash.
You play football? I play hockey!!
I'm super protective of my friends too. I think we just want them to be happy in love...my friend married a complete gerk and it kills me to see how unhappy he makes her. But she is SO not the type to get divorced unless he's beating her or something. So she puts up with him. be sure to screen him closely...maybe arrive with a clipboard and questionaire!! :)
I'm currently watching a (46 year old) friend cling to some flotsam. Biting my lip is getting painful.
Gawd, you sound so much like my daughter. So, I guess she'll wind up married some day. I'm in no hurry, nor is she.
When I still lived in Aspen I played broom ball and could skate circles around the guys, so they of course loved me. Whenever someone joined the team that didn't like me, they always ran them off, lol.
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