Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Breast Fairy

Ok, this is actually a childhood story that took place on our way up to Cape Cod one summer. My brother was like 5 so I was 13 and my sister was 12. I am estimating. Anyway, we'd been listening to a tape of Bill Cosby's standup called "Those of you With or Without Children Will Understand." Bill was telling the story about how his little girl was concerned about the fact that she didn't have breasts yet as she was about to start middle school and some of her friends had already...ahem...bloomed in that area. So she was wondering when she would get hers. So Bill tells the story of the Breast Fairy who flies around from house to house and she has a bicycle pump, sometimes she pumps a little, sometimes she pumps a lot. My little brother turns to my sister and says.

"She must have had a hole in her pump when she got to you."

I think we almost ran off the road.

67 comments:

Snooty Primadona said...

OMG! That's funny. Sounds like the kind of thing my brother would have said. If I hadn't boobs, lol.

JokerOnMars said...

lmao. Well, plump enhancement is available.

Shannon said...

that is stinkin' hilarious!

Missy said...

Happy SITS feature day! Soak it up baby! I had no idea that Bill Cosby would discuss breasts, which makes it all the more hilarious! I hope she wasn't scarred for life.

Toni said...

that is so funny!

Smoochiefrog said...

Great story! Ha!

She totally missed me.

Givinya De Elba said...

Hilarious! Damn Breast Fairy gave it too much when she got to me. Bitch.

Summer said...

ROFL!!

KC said...

Ha ha. Good story.

Congrats on being the SITS featured blogger.

trashalou said...

I'm laughing on the outside for this one! Plus BIG love for any Bill Cosby, he is the soundtrack of my childhood.

Debbie said...

THAT IS HILARIOUS! That is quick witted for any little boy let alone a FIVE YEAR OLD. Classic!

EmBee said...

Little brothers can be such shits!

Debbie said...

Hilarious!

Suzanne's Blog, Jane's Blog said...

great story, love childhood memories.

Angela said...

Oh, breast fairy, why are you so selective?

Jennifer said...

Oh too funny! Congrats on being featured on SITS!

Lula! said...

HUH-larious. Truly! And mad props to your family for listening to Bill Cosby...we have most of his comedy routines memorized. Even my girls have been known to walk around the house singing, "Dad is great...made us chocolate cake!"

Sherri said...

Oh that Breast Fairy is just not fair!!!

Rhea said...

Oh, little brothers. Don't you love em?! That's a great comment.

The breast fairy must have fallen sleep while pumping me up because I think I got someone's extra bit...just sayin'.

Z's Mom said...

hahaaha....what a cute story! Makes me glad I don't have a little brother...

Hey, I think the Breast Fairy skipped me...... :(

Adiel said...

What a great story! That is too funny! Aren't little brothers the best?

Cristin said...

Too funny!! I have 4 sisters who are ALL well endowed. I barely fill an A cup... the joke in our hose is that I got my father's chest...

Karen said...

Oh dear, I should have warned myself, by the title of the post, that taking a sip of coffee, while reading, would not be a good idea!

At least I avoided spluttering over my computer screen, however, Sparky (one of my small dogs) who was sitting on my feet at the time, was not too impressed! :-)

Sunshine said...

I love me some Bill Cosby!

Why did the Breast Fairy have to wait until I had the babies to give me my boobies? I totally needed them when I was like oh, um...18! Now, I'm of the philosophy that less is more.

Pretty funny, girlie!

THE Stephanie said...

Brothers...

Mrs. S said...

That's really funny. Reminds me of my mom. She used to say that God gave her two older sisters big helpings of boobs, then decided he'd given them too much so He didn't give her (my mom) any. Then God felt bad about not giving her any, so he gave her younger sister a big helping.

Jennifer P. said...

SO are you saying that if I just hook myself up to the bicycle pump---there might be hope for me yet :)?!.....

Funny story!

Karen said...

So funny!
My mom always told me to be happy with a C cup- she had DD- b/c I could wear sweaters better! Hmmm now I think she was just comforting me!

Hairline Fracture said...

Hahaha! I love that Bill Cosby story.

Talisman said...

HAHA! Classic.

Mama Dawg said...

Oh, man, I can't believe I hadn't read this yet! Classic!

Feathering My Nest said...

The Breast Fairy passed over my house. When they passed out boobs, I thought they said inner-tubes, and I'd take mine flat.

Kathi

Mrs. R said...

So good!

Neurotically Yours: said...

OMGOSH!! HILARIOUS!! Kids say the best things :)

I think she had a hole in her pump when she stopped by my house, too!

Maternal Mirth said...

My breast fairy came in the form of $4000 worth of silicone... :)

Swirl Girl said...

the breast fairy pump was stuck in the 'on' position for my sister, and when she got to me...well, let's just say there are chickens with bigger breasts than mine!

www.swirlgirlspearls.blogspot.com

Mamasphere said...

Classic!

I seemed to have escaped a lot of hassle by not having a brother!

Deb said...

Ah brothers! I have 4 myself (with nary a boyfriend in my teenage years). They do make you want to "pop" them upside the head.

Jen said...

Oh my goodness. To funny.

Nicole said...

Oh, that is so funny. I remember a kid telling me once I was so flat the walls were jealous MEAN!
I'm gonna go get the bicycle pump right now :)

Scary Mommy said...

I totally snorted. Glad I'm alone!!

Gina said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
I had no idea that was how it worked and I am SO MAD because she had a hole in it when she got to me too.
DADBURNITALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

angie said...

HILARIOUS Story. I'm pretty sure that happened to me, too! Sigh. :)

Alaina said...

Yeah SITS! I can say "I knew you when!" :-) Awesome.

insane mama said...

Maybe I stole your air... Sorry
How are you handling all the comments and love?

MomMega said...

Oh, I feel your sister's pain...

Adrienne said...

Hahaha, that's so funny! Bill Cosby is sorta funny on average! :D Your poor sister. hahaha.
http://scrappin-a-rose.blogspot.com/

Marla said...

good stuff, she must have gotten stuck and my house for the whole night

lfamily5 said...

HaHaHa...that is so funny! Great story!

visiting via sits

Danielle said...

This is FUNNY! Brothers can be so awful sometimes!!!

Happy SITS Day!!!

Laurel said...

The little guy was FIVE?! Hilarious.

Karen said...

So funny! I have two younger sisters and when my youngest sister finally "bloomed" we were talking about how well (or not well)-endowed we all were. I think she put it best when she said I had mosquito bites, my middle sister had baseballs and she ended up with watermelons. We laugh about that to this day!

Lisa said...

So funny. Ah, brotherly love.

Mama's Losin' It said...

I had one of those brothers too. Did you slap him!?!

AFRo said...

Shame on him!!! That's pretty funny though.

Jenni said...

This topic is always funny to me because I have been on both ends of the spectrum. . .I just went the wrong direction!

Pam Hawk said...

Oh LOL!
I don't think that fairy had a problem with me the first time around but I could use a little refill. I seem to have a slow leak.

Gina said...

I was the president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee until 10th grade! I thought she forgot where I lived.
Great post. It made me snort- I'm glad I'm alone.

Jill said...

THat's too funny! Must have happened with me, too!

Caroline said...

That is so funny! Sorry I didn't give you comment love yesterday when you were featured. Its almost a full time job keeping up with all these blogs, checking in and then doing my own posts. We should get paid!

Judy Haley said...

ha! I think I would have run off the road too.

swile67 said...

that is a ROTFL story!!! can I ask if the breast fairie's pump got fixed and she came back to fill you again?!!!

Michelle said...

Ohhh your poor sister! If it makes her feel better lo these many years later, my gram used to refer to my mom's breasts as mosquito bites. Ouch!

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

Awww. Leave it to a brother to make a comment like that! :(

Vicki said...

Oh, that's hilarious!! I love that story! BTW, I do believe that she came by and siphoned the air out of mine.

WheresMyAngels said...

That is way too funny!

Alex the Girl said...

Well, she over inflated mine.