Friday, August 1, 2008

Crackberry Friday: Power of the Cape



I jotted down some notes while I was at the Cape and one was about the power that seems to reside there for me. I wrote this down on my first night because of the massive thunderstorms that were rolling through and the way they made me feel. The lightening, the clouds and the wind seemed so much more fierce than they do at home. I am not sure if it was just the fact that we were next to the water but in my mind, it was the same power that pulls me there every year. Even though I am not there at this moment, I feel my heart physically being pulled away as if I should be moving back to that place.

The dreams I have there are more realistic and almost crisp; those dreams that seem so real you are not sure they didn't happen. I had a quick though emotional one while I was there. I dreamed that Peter and I had just arrived. It was night and my Mom came out to greet us. We walked into the house and as I turned the corner, there was my Dad, clear as can be. The dream lasted moments in my head but I remember he had on a blue tee shirt and shorts. His hair was the dark brown almost black with peppered grey he had before he lost it from the chemo. It was just so fast. Just a glimpse but there was so much in that glimpse. I saw that he had been relaxing in the sunroom, waiting for our arrival. He was looking forward to seeing us there and enjoying our time together. I felt all of this and so much more in just that short time. I am teary just thinking about it now and that is a big deal for me because I tend to block most emotions pretty much ever since he got so sick. The emotions that I was able to feel at the Cape, allowed me to relax and open up my mind while I was there. This is why I so strongly feel that I belong there. It's like when I am there, there is a piece of me that fits with the rest and then I am complete; able to cry, able to laugh, able to feel.

13 comments:

Lula! said...

This is truly beautiful, and perfectly written. Loved, loved, loved it...

How's your husband?

my2boyz said...

The cape is a magic palce! I love it there. Went a few times as a teen and it was so relaxing and care free!

Mama Dawg said...

Wow.....it is so great that you have a place like that. I envy you.

Insane Mama said...

I have the same pull to the ocean...it sucks me in every time!I am lucky enough to live so close to the ocean. I can't imagine not having my ocean. This is beautiful.

asthmagirl said...

What a great post. I'm so happy that you were able to see your father if only in your dreams.

Tami said...

Beautiful!!!!!

Glad your hubby is ok.

You are so quick, I didn't even get to tell you I tagged you - lol!

Judy Haley (coffeejitters) said...

how wonderful to have a place where you are so wholly connected to yourself. Lovely post

Nilsa S. said...

My family has a house on Cape Cod. I just spent a week there. And it is...amazing. For me, it means no TV, no Internet, no cell phone. I am able to completely unwind and free my mind. It is a truly wonderful place. Like no other. Thanks for momentarily bringing me back.

Shelby said...

I've never been to the cape. I suppose I'll have to go one day, and when I do, I'll tell everyone who asks "what brings you here?" that a friend of mine feels so powerfully about it that I had to feel it for myself.

Jen said...

Awesomely. beautiful!

At Home Redesigns said...

Beautiful. I can see why you would relax there...

A.C. said...

I love the picture of the storm clouds rolling in. Beautiful! There's something so humbling about thunderstorms. They're exciting and terrifying.

My brother lives on the cape. He lives in Provincetown. I've got to get down there before school starts.

EmBee said...

If I were you I'd find comfort in the belief that your dad really IS there and it just took a different state of being (sleep) to be able to see him.

There's something about that magical quality of the cape that heightens your senses enough to bring you clarity.

My husband would say Bah! but I rather enjoy believing there is magic all round us and we're surrounded by those we love even after their physical being is gone.