I love Mama's Kat's Writer's Workshops. They really get me thinking about events in my life, things I'd like to do, etc. This one was odd though because I was having a hard time picking a topic. This subject won out when I pulled a number out of a coffee mug.
1.) If you could do it over again…
The problem with this is, I would not want to do many things over because I believe that the teeniest, tiniest change can alter an entire life. That scares me a little. If I had changed my path by one footprint, one small decision to skip rather than run or walk things could be very different, better, worse, etc. Then I thought about what I would WANT to be different and went backwards from there.
I came up with one thing:
I wish I had switched majors in college.
I kick myself every day for this. I got to a point in school where Marine Biology was not doing it for me anymore. I didn't like the professors (they were oh so high and mighty with that #3 school in the country for Marin Bio label), I didn't like the fact that there were almost no jobs with only an undergrad degree (more school! WHAT!?) and I hated the fact that for each science course I had to take a lab with an other 3 plus hours a week for only 1 credit. I was also taking geology courses but I think I liked the subject more than the thought of actually getting a degree in it. All I wanted to do was get out of school. I am not sure if it was just because I was in major I didn't love anymore or if it was because at the age of 19 or 20 I wasn't ready to know exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I truly think it's the last thing. I mean lets face it, it took me until I was 35 to figure out how to deal with my hair. How was I supposed to figure out my entire life at 19?
Hind-sight being 20/20 I would have done exactly what another friend had done, drop the science and major in something in the English department. Even then I loved to write and I loved me some literature. I didn't have her guts though (love ya L!). I still don't. I was afraid to make a change like that for fear of facing the same ire from my parents when I suggested to them that I take a semester off. It is so funny (not ha ha funny by any stretch) to look back on it now because I could have told them and worked it out. I have only myself to blame...
and to fix.
Maybe it's time I started looking at what I can do about what I WANT to do...what I could do if I HAVE (not had) the chance to do it over again.