Thursday, July 17, 2008

My Island Part I

I am a pretty impatient person. I can also be quite judgemental...but it takes some really stupid, awful HAM (hot ass mess) people to make "My Island".

My Island is a place where I imagine I can place the idiotic, stupid, no common sense people (mostly celebs and politicians) that I really don't feel like dealing with anymore. When I say, 'deal with' I mean not be smacked in the head in the grocery check out line by insane headlines or just plain invade on my consciousness. My office mate and I seem to discuss this more than I do with other people for some reason. He'll say, "Is that person on your island?" and I'll think about it before giving an answer.

I am very selective about who is sent there and I wonder what their interactions would be like. It's like my own version of The Simms. Would Brittany and K-Fed get back together if they were there (by the way, the kids are innocent so they don't go)? Would Rick Santorum (politician with a bad column in the Philadelphia Inquirer) find anyone to preach his no logic religious, nazi-like crap to? What would Amy Winehouse do without a good salon and caring dealer? Would Lindsay Lohan be able to live with out leggings and would she strike up a relationship with Amy Winehouse just to piss of Rick Santorum? Jamie Lynn is on the stand by list for the island. I am still on the fence about her. If she is just stupid, that is one thing. She needs a few more points to get her there.

I am not a mean person, there would be food drops every now and again along with the proper medications to keep nasty infections from spreading to the animals that might be there. Trust me when I say I think the animals are smarter than the humans so I think they would most likely stay away from the campsite. They would be provided with reading material and as long as they didn't try to wipe their butt with it or roll it up and smoke it, they would get more.

I would like to tell you more stories about My Island and there will be more. I just thought I'd give you a little intro today. Got people you'd like to place on an island. Feel free to make up your own as well. We all need to compartmentalize sometimes to get through the day.

18 comments:

sista #2 said...

Put Cher and Liz Taylor on that Island for me....would ya?

THose 2 I could definitely do without.

While your at it.....throw in that entire Brangelina bunch...I am so sick of hearing about them.

Peace
#2

Mrs. Parks said...

OMG! I am laughing so hard and already thinking of people I would like to send to Scargosun Island!
Do I have to have my own Island or is yours open to eveyone? Hmmmm.... I'm making a list.
Courtney Love and Star Jones for sure.

Mama Dawg said...

I so totally have people I'd toss on that island. And not all of them are celebrities.

EmBee said...

I can think of a few drivers I had the 'pleasure' of trying not to collide with while I was in New Jersey this past weekend. There's no transportation on your island right? Wouldn't want Britney getting her foot run over or anything.

I may be back with more suggestions.
:-)

Kristen Andrews said...

that is funny! it takes a lot to get me mad but when I do I kinda send them to an island also. this made my day!

asthmagirl said...

Hmmm.... If I had my own island??? Give me a few hours, I'm sure I could work up a heck of a list!

Neurotically Yours: said...

I think Tom & Katie should go to your island! NOW!!

Heather said...

Oh, this is BRILLIANT! Is it just an island of famous people? We could throw out names all day.

Dirty White boy said...

lol..so...the island....lol.

thanks.

Susie Harris said...

Oh Lordie... I want to make sure I never cross you on a bad day, haha.. I would love to go somewhere..Island..?? As long as it's nice a quiet.. Susie h~

Dirty White boy said...

lol..I know which few exes your talking about. I totally agree, providing you dont send me to the same island.

Givinya De Elba said...

Thanks for visiting Killing A Fly and leaving comments! It's been great hearing from everyone.

I hope you could manage to get the paparazzi on your island. They'd go MAD photographing all the dopey celebrities, but then they'd find out that you'd arranged that they couldn't do anything with their pics. They would die of frustration.

Los said...

I think I would put Coldplay and Nickleback there, just because I can't stand their music ... that might not be a good enough excuse to put them on that island, but I don't care.

KathyLikesPink said...

Wait - I want an island that I can go to myself to escape the idiots!

One in a semi-tropical place, with cabana boys. And yummy drinks with pineapple and rum and coconut...

I'm drifting there now...

Lindsay said...

I think that I'd be putting all of the announcers for Entertainment Tonight and Lisa Rinna on a plane with a one-way ticket to Scargosun Island. For starters.

I agree with KathyLikesPink about having my own island. It should be within shooting distance so I could launch coconuts at them at regular intervals.

Shelby said...

Alright well I AM a mean person, so those people will hunt, eat barries or turn to canibalism. Whatever they did to get themselves there in the first place warrants this lack of empathy for them. =)

Lula! said...

I have officially adopted this concept and I even gave credit to you when I used it this past weekend. (Even though my sister-in-law has no idea who you are, I still wanted to give props to you for coming up with this bit of brilliance.)

I was explaining "my island" to my dad and telling him who all I'd be shipping to the island and his reply was, "There ain't an island big enough to contain all the idiots in this world." He's probably right.

But for me, the thought of Jessie Jackson and Barbara Striesand being forced to commune together on my island is enough to make me happy. After all, they've got Britney and Lindsay to serende them...Paris has been there for a while and she's currently waiting on her pals from "The Hills" to join her.

Sophie Brador said...

Okay, now I get the island. I may have to find an island to stick people on too.

xo
SB