Since I was a very little girl and I realized what it meant to me, I have cried as we crossed the bridge to the mainland. I still do. This is the one place where my emotions run unchecked, I've less control over them than I do anywhere else. I realize that having something like that is precious. Some people wish or search for it their whole lives and never find it. I have found it but is it something that I should look towards making permanent or should it remain a place I visit? I have struggled with this for years and hopefully someday, I will find my answer because for the moment, as much as I love my time here, time now feels like my enemy.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Halfway Point
I get edgy every year about this time when I am here. I have the sense that my time here is half over and my heart begins to hurt. I wander the cottage aimlessly, looking for something to occupy my mind so that I don't think about the next few days. I realize that I am supposed to live in the moment and I am working on it but here, where I know that I 'belong' more than anywhere on earth, the pull and the heartache of leaving is too close to push away.
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10 comments:
Oh, I hear you on this one. When we still had our lake house, I wanted to live there forever. So, hubby sold it so I wouldn't make him move there to retire, lol.
Basque in those few days left my friend, and let it wash over you like a soft blankie. It will hold you for a while. Maybe.
Look at it this way.....at least you get a vacation
Could be worse
#1
I get you. I felt very grounded in my Grammy's beach house. My dad sold it to pay for nursing home care. I miss it.
Hope you enjoy the rest of your time there!
Hi! It's "As Cape Cod Turn's" sister! :)SO great to meet you the other day! I just wanted to send you a quick comment about this post...I felt that some way about two places in my life (Maine and the Cape) and I found that, if you can just "let go", sometimes the choices are made for you! :) Hope to see you again soon!
I hate that feeling when you know your time is short. Make it a goal to find something to revel in these last few days. Be purposeful. That's about all I have, 'cuz it sucks.
I tend to do this anytime I'm on vacation ... I start counting down the days (not in a good way) as I approach the end of it ... and it makes me sad. I try not to, but I always seem to do this ... especially in the Outer Banks.
I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way. Now I try to go back once or twice during the year. It's winter, and it's different, but I still love it.
I am bad like that. From the second I start a vacation, I begin counting down till my vacay is over. I think its a sickness :(
Z- I'm going to have to agree with MSfish on this one...sometimes you just have to stop thinking & focusing on your quandry...let it go and life sometimes makes the decision for you...Lord knows if you'd told me a year ago I'd be living in a 300yr old fixer upper, own it and be in the country...I would have told you to stop smoking that crack! Deep breaths and photos my friend....gros bisous!
That is such a great post. It's so great that you know "your place" and so sad that you can't be there all the time.
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