Where Does Time Go?

I think about this a lot. It's funny that I chose to write about this topic when I have a digital timer next to me counting down the minutes 'till I am supposed to take the rice off the heat. I think about how much time I spend doing things I don't want to do and during those times I am thinking about things I want to do. For instance, there was laundry to be folded when I got home, laundry to be started, dinner to be prepped. There is a huge list and I can't ever figure out why it is that I don't have the time to do the things I was thinking about while I was folding laundry and chopping broccoli (insert music "Choppin' brocoli-he, choppin' broccolee. She was choppin' broccoleee!" must be an SNL fan from the good times for that reference).

People tell you that you need to 'make' time. What the hell does that mean, make time? Time is just there, you have a certain amount and it continually marches on (across your face if you are a woman, yes Steel Magnolias). It seems like other people have the time to do stuff besides house stuff. What are their ingredients for 'made time'? Do they have a spouse who knows how to empty a dishwasher or fold laundry without begging? Is it one cup helpful mate, 1/2 a cup of no one is coming over this weekend let the vacuuming go, a pinch of less control freak and a dab of JUST LET GO? What are your ingredients for made time? I need to know because according to my timer, I have a few precious minutes before I have to leave this blog and make dinner.

Jeez, This Thing Needs Work

Apparently, BlogHer no longer graces my blog with their ads and that has f-ed up my layout. Probably something I should look into but considering I have neglected my blog for about 3 months, it's probably not what will happen right at this moment.

Right now, I have time to eck out a few words. I don't know if I will have time tomorrow. I am still here, I am still thinking about writing but all the "small stuff" is being so sweated over these days that it makes it difficult to type. I keep shorting out keyboards.

Still Alive, Barely

I am still alive but buried under work. I have not given up blogging and I will try to post from home more often but our office is freezing in the house. :)

Here is something funny I thought about the other day.

When I drop off UPS envelopes in the drop box at work, I am very careful to make sure that my keys are not in the hand that is dropping off the envelope because I am scared beyond belief that I will drop my keys in the box and have to sit around until 7pm when the driver shows up to get my keys. I seriously think hard about this on an almost daily basis...

Let's Catch Up

So P is fine. He is swollen and the underside of his nose looks GROSS but he is fine. I did a good job I think of taking care of him but by today I was totally over it. Bad wife.

I have had a bad day today as a Trojan Horse virus spewed crap all over my computer. What I don't get is it was my work computer. We are supposed to have uber security on our computers at the office so why is it that my home computer is fine and my work computer is doing the virtual version of the kid in the Exorcist spewing nastiness in the form of pop-ups? I don't get it. I am really hoping I caught it in time because my boss had it, ignored it and had to wipe his hard drive and reinstall EVERYTHING. Just so not good. Mind you, his computer crashed again today and do you know how much work I saved to his hard drive? I almost cried and then I almost crawled through the phone line to wring the neck of the pseudo tech geek when he told me "See the little computer looking icon, that 's the My Computer icon click it for me." WHEN I ALREADY TOLD HIM I HAD A BLACK SCREEN WITH HALT ERROR. Idiot. Why do they put these guys on level one support? Is it just to piss us off when we are at our lowest point? When you try to explain to them that you've been around the inside of a computer before and you are NOT going to reboot again they get all huffy like you've taken away their solution or something.

NOTE: I am NOT bashing all tech guys and gals. I have worked with many good ones in all my previous jobs and one or two in this job. It's just when I need help I don't like wading thru the kiddie pool first.

I apologise now for the lack of inserting paragraph spaces. I know it gets hard to read. Depending on the outcome of certain events in entertainment news, I may have a controversial My Island post coming up. I am still thinking about it, doing research and forming my (correct) opinion.

I am going to go have another beer in the hopes that it will help relax my shoulders and back into their normal position below my ears.

A Do Nothing Day...Why Is It So Hard?

It's hard for me, probably not a normal well adjusted person.

Last night we hunkered down with wine, cheese, pate, mushroom and seafood risotto (I made!) and then chocolate souflees (a la Trader Joe's). In years past we have treated ourselves to a lovely six course meal at The Marigold Kitchen in West Philadelphia. This year the other couple that usually goes with us had a child so our tradition is skipping a year (just a year I hope). Anyway, P was asllp by 11:30pm and I stayed up to watch the ball drop. I decided as I was falling asleep, that I would do nothing on the 1st, my day off.

Doing nothing is hard for me to get into. I kept finding myself wanting to 'clean up' or straighten things. We had a nice breakfast of eggs, (turkey) bacon, toasted French bread and coffee and when I went into the kitchen I had to will myself away from cleaning (I did put dishes in the dishwasher). As soon as I left the kitchen, I had to tear myself away from the 'tree area' because I was thinking it was time to put away the presents that were still displayed by the tree. I made it to my room and was finally able to find something to make me sit, drink my coffee and not worry about cleaning. I read. I read until 3pm when we pulled on cold weather gear and took G-dog to the dog park.

When we got home, I hopped into a warm shower where I stayed for about a half hour. I took my time using the exfoliating scrub. I looked at it as washing and scrubbing away 2008 and starting fresh for 2009. I know, odd but when you have been reading biographies all day, sometimes you fall into introspection. I emerged from the shower ready to take on the new year (I think my new shampoo and conditioner helped too though). I thought to myself, "I needed this day. I need every day and I just need to learn to live them a little better." :)

Finally Saw...

Juno *SPOILER ALERT*




I know. I am an idiot. I am not a movie person. That movie just raised so many emotions in me though. P thought that Vanessa was too controlling and that is why her husband (can't remember his name) was the way he was. He didn't see it. He didn't see how Vanessa WAS the Mom. She was the Mom Juno never had and it clicked with her. That is why she still gave her the baby.
That movie and what it meant grabbed my ovaries and would not let go. I knew. I knew because I can be a mother. I get it. I get what it takes and maybe I am still not sure that I have what it takes, but I get it.

Update: I had some wine last night that may have led to this epiphany

Funk That!

I have been in a funk. It happens every year and every year I try to be more prepared but it always smacks me in the head. It's not just the anniversary of my Dad's death, it's also the less sunlight. Did you know that the sun set here at 4:56pm yesterday?! That is insane. Poor G-dog can't get the the dog park during the week anymore. I hate that. Also, I STILL don't have my kitchen back so the cooking I do to make myself feel better...not going so well. I have about zero counter space right now.

SO

I needed a clean slate. I needed to wake up in the morning, looking forward to the day and plow through it. I did that yesterday and it felt WONDERFUL! My brain started firing it's synapses again and ideas for the holidays began to take shape. It was a relief. Just needed to post it and see it myself. Kinda like a reminder that things do come around. :)

Jammed!

My brain is totally jammed today. I can't think of what to blog or what to make for dinner. I am avoiding chicken b/c I might be roasting one tomorrow from my CSA but I don't know if it will come frozen in which case I can't cook it tomorrow. I am a freak. My brain stopped working because I cannot figure out what to make for dinner. This video describes how my brain feels.

Really Boring Post. Hopefully Won't Happen Again

I am inhaling my lunch as I write this b/c I took my real lunch time to go to the doctors. They don't seem to know what's wrong with me either but sent me on my way with a perscription for prednisone. Hopefully it will work and that will be the end of it. If it's not, I will be back there again next week.
Most of my weekend consited of hiding from the heatwave that has hit us. I literally looked outside with fear on my face. G-dog got 2 walks in the earliest part of the day possible and she was content to lay around the house the rest of the time. The only time I was out for a significant amount of time was when we met friends out for dinner and we got ice cream afterwards (the poor girl we were with is 6 days overdue with her first child). Other than that we did nothing at all. I read a good deal and Mom called from Bobo-BS5-Suburbia country to let me know she was having a fabulous time with L and they took a nice river cruise up the Thames. Oh, supposedly it has been quite warm there too, 75 or 80. So I was able to explain to the doc the green color of my skin today but not the itchys.

I Know What You Did at Lunchtime

Today I had to go home at lunch to let G-dog out. P and I try to alternate, and by alternate I mean mostly me, getting home around mid-day to let her relieve herself and have a little quality time with something other than her stuffed toys and the woodland creachers that torture her from just outside the window. Usually I play (or try to, she is not a play-y, dog), sit outside or work on her manners but today, I did something really indulgent...just for me...my own version of afternoon delight...

I took a nap.

I only had 30 minutes for it but it felt oh so bad (in a good way) to slide under the covers in the middle of the work day just for a little while. G-dog joined me although she probably didn't sleep so much as resent the fact that I was not awake. I set my alarm on the 'nap' setting (BTW, I highly recommend getting an alarm clock that does this) and fell asleep in all of probably 5 minutes. When the alarm went off 30 minutes later, I actually smiled. It was just enough time to feel indulged. I stretched, turned off the alarm and sighed. G-dog did the same and then we went though our routine of me heading back to the office.

I would be lying if I say that nap did my energy level a world of good. As a matter of fact I am drinking liquid crack (Monster - the green one) because I have to be nice to customers at Lottery Yarn tonight and me, tired and itchy is not a good combo. So if I am just itchy maybe I'll only be 1/2 bitchy when someone complains about a price...but I digress (don't we all). Naps to me are like little presents. The feeling of letting your body slowly sink into relaxation is one of my favorite expereiences. Being able to do it without hearing P or G-dog snore...ecstasy.
So now that you all know what I did at lunch, I must swear you to secrecy lest my bosses know that I was late getting back because of my nap and not traffic.

Hey You! That Post Below Needs Your Comments!

Please look at the pics and tell me what I should do about the color for the walls. I need my kitchen back.

Also, I hate my garden right now for giving me poison ivy. I know there are MANY, MANY worse things in life but right now I am so on edge because of the itchiness I am about to jump out of my skin. Also I am forced to type with my forearms lifted so I don't get my pilfered steroid cream on the desk. So, I decided that beer was medicinal this evening. I may need a few doses though to really get the circulation going. My drug of choice...Sam Adams Summer Ale. I am usually more of a micro gal myself but this is probably my favorite summer brew. I am going to leave you with that thought and the hope that you will look at my kitchen pics while I try to not go insane before the alcohol kicks in.

Smelly and Sore

Gardening again. I think I garden out of guilt. The woman that lived in this house was 82 when she left. She was a gardener and had a beautiful perennial garden in the backyard next to the patio and it was like her baby. I know this because her children told us at the closing. The first year we were here, it was somewhat easy to maintain. As time has gone on, it has gotten increasingly difficult. Today I spent two hours just on that garden and it looks like all I did was trample the daffodil greens down. What I actually did was remove all the dead stuff from last season (I know I am late in doing so) and release all the peonies from the grip of the cancer vine. I call it the cancer vine because that it what it reminds me of. It hides, pops up then grows and strangles the pretty plants. It doesn't flower and it grows about a foot a day. It reminds me of kudzu. It's easy enough to pull and break but you never get the damn root and then it pops up again. It is the bane of my gardening existence. I now have to wait till the daff foilage dies back so I can do some rearranging. I am determined to do it this year I just don't want to ruin the peonies.

ASIDE: Just went down to check to see what G-dog was barking at. Two flippin' squiriels sitting about 2 feet from the poor girls nose through the screen door. Jackasses were teasing the poor girl.

Anyway, I got rid of the rest of the mulch pile on the side gardens and around my herbs. I have been taking tufts of G-dog's hair from brushing and placing it around my herbs to discourage forraging critters. So far, so good. My only worry is that there is enough sun hitting the areas where I planted sun loving plants (2 butterfly bushes and some lavender). It's tough because we have very large oak trees which provide lovely shade but might be too much of a match for my plants. Time will tell.

No plans tonight. This would normally be ok but I can't cook either. P's project for this weekend entailed repainting the kitchen cabinets. I don't want to cook in the midst of the painting for fear of getting grease, etc into the paint. It is going to look so much better in there when it is done. I just need to pick a color for the walls. There isn't much to the walls b/c there is this odd tiny tile halfway up but I'd like to go with something a little deeper than the light blue that is there now. P isn't so sure. If I though it wouldn't darken the room, I'd go with a deep blue like navy for contrast with the white cabinetry and moulding. It's not a big kitchen. Maybe I'll post a pic and you can help me. :)