My Island: Rick Gets a Buddy

If you are new to my blog you can read about "My Island" by clicking the "My Island" label at the bottom of the post.  Short version: I send people there that I believe have no business being in the gene pool or really with most of the population.

Here's a list of who is there and links to their posts:
Brittany Spears, Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan, Rick Santorum (this was the first post so there were a few people sent right off the bat)
Ann Coulter
Elizabeth Hasselbeck
Ocotmom, Nadya Suleman

This was a hard decision, not because I don't think this person belongs there but becuase I have a list in my head of others who belong there as well.  Also it was difficult because although I was familiar with this person, I did not have the in depth knowledge I feel I need to have to send someone there.  As I have said before, I do not send people willy-nilly.  I am not going to just toss the likes of Snooki there just because she is a moron.  She's relatively harmless really and provides some people with a good deal of comic relief.

The person I chose in many ways frightens me.  His name is Glenn Beck.

Thank you Wikipedia and Photo by David Shankbone for this seemingly cute photo of a jackass

Just looking at this photo steams my hair into frizzy ringlets.  It was hard to do the research on this 'man' becuase everything I read made me angry.  This man twists and bends history for his own benefit and dare I say amusement.  He twists charitable religious organizations into Communist and Nazi organizations.  At one point saying, "Christians [should] leave their churches if they hear preaching about social justice because they were code words for Communism and Nazism."

Um, k.  


He later elaborated that he meant that if confronted with a Black liberation theology church, such as that of Rev. Jeremiah Wright, one should find another parish.

Do those things sound the same to you at all?

His conspiracy theories are the product of his ADHD and really it's all about the attention.  He thrives on it through all of his media outlets.  It's how he makes his money and the only lucky thing for him is, he is just delusional enough to believe his own rhetoric.  Even some conservatives back away (slowly, no sudden moves) from this nut.

He frightens me becuase he is on TV and people that are too lazy to go back and actually learn about history are listening to him.  Here's an example from a CNN Opinion article, click the link for the whole article.

"Waiting for Beck's "American Revival" show in Orlando, Florida, in March, 70-year-old fan Joseph Cerniglia told me he was way too busy for civics lessons when he was raising kids and working as a stockbroker and then cider-maker. "I have learned more from Glenn Beck -- learned more about American history and government, from Glenn Beck -- than in the previous 40 years of my life," the retiree told me."

Now you may get mad at me for calling this guy lazy but he his.  He is learning his history, not from actual research, he is using the abridged/edited for content Conservative Cliffs Notes version!

You know what happened when you took a test or wrote a paper based on the Cliffs Notes edition, right?

I could go on and on about how instead of being intelligent, he attacks on a personal level such as making fun of the President's 11 year old daughter (I don't care if he apologized, it was for attention and he got it), or the fact that he throws in with Sarah Palin (that just makes me throw up in my mouth a little, can you imagine what their kids would be like, ick) and how he thinks that reclaiming the civil rights movement is the right thing to do because "-- because we were the people who did it in the first place." --.  

O
M
G
!

I honestly think this man says it quite well when talking about Glenn Beck.  Seriously hilarious and also dead on the mark.


At the end of the video linked above, it is suggested that Glenn find a place to hide and we'll tell him when it is safe to come out.

Since we cannot trust Glenn to do that, I think he needs to be taken, kicking and screaming to "My Island."  I think he'll like it actually.  We'll tell him that the government sent him there and all his brilliant conspiracy theories can play out in his head.  He can share them with Rick Santorum and Ann Coulter.  He can draw his chalkboard diagrams in the sand and have a grand old time. He can teach his version of history to the likes of Brit Brit and LiLo, maybe Amy will audit that class.  I think Elizabeth and Octomom might like him a little too much.  We'll have to watch that one.

Stay tuned for the next arrival.  I believe they will be dropped off in a few weeks.  Like I said, I have a list of people that belong there. 

It's in the Works: My Island

In trying to get over my Gym Fear I have been trying to get there more often rather than depend on running in the neighborhood.  Also, I don't want to hear from P that I am wasting money, belonging to a gym but not going blah, blah, blah.  Anyway, the treadmills are set up so that you can watch TV, like most gyms.  What I find funny is that the tv's in front of me, one to the left and one to the right are always on CNN and E! respectively.

What I am finding out is that these two channels, not so different from each other.  On one hand I have a well known person making a fool out of themselves with outlandish comments in an interview, solely for press (you know, no such thing as bad press) and then on the other hand I have a shot of Snooki baring her patoot after leaving a sex shop (girlfriend should know better than to go commando in a skirt that short).   See, not so different.

So these two channels are giving me ideas for the next person to get shipped off to My Island.  The problem is, I have SOOOOO many people to choose from these days.  I feel like I have gotten behind on my travel agent duties.  So, here is a small recap of who is there.

Brittany Spears, Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan, Rick Santorum (this was the first post so there were a few people sent right off the bat)

Ann Coulter

Elizabeth Hasselbeck

Ocotmom, Nadya Suleman

I even have a place for kids of the My Island inhabitants if there is not another parent in the picture

There are a couple other posts about My Island but they deal mostly with what is going on there and responses to requests.  Click on the My Island label to see more.

There is no one currently flying stand by so I have room in that category and I have a few usual suspects to send but I want to do my due diligence.  I don't send just anyone there.  They really have to have some terrible qualities... like qualities that really nothing at all makes up for their general terribleness (I was not really sure that was a word but spell check seems to think it is).  Qualities that should probably be removed from the gene pool.  I am sure you can think of a few people that deserve a one way ticket to My Island.

Would you like to make suggestions?  

My Island Spin Off - What About the Kids

If you are new to my blog and are unsure about "My Island" please click in the 'My Island' label at the bottom of the post. All will be explained.

On Friday I mentioned that I had a hard time sending Octo-Mom Nadya Suleman to 'My Island because of the children that would be left behind. Now I do think they would be better off with someone else but her mother is clearly not the one to care for them either. Then I thought, "What about Brit's kids and even Elizabeth's?" (I know, Liz is married but seriously.) The kids are innocents in their parents' lives, caught up in a web they did not fashion. What should be done with the children of the island inhabitants?

Where could kids go where it was happy but not over-commercialized?
Sunny days, sweepin' the clouds away.

Where could they go where is was healthy and safe?
On my way to where the air is clean!

Can you tell me how to get...how to get to

SESAME STREET!

Ok, is this not perfect? The kids would get attention from caring adults and would be able to cuddle up with furry monsters that would make them laugh daily. They would learn about things their parents don't know about like, manners and being nice to people (not depending on whether it makes God happy or not). They would learn to count with a Count and a pinball machine. They would learn a second language earlier than high school. It's a happy place but not so over the top that the kids would OD on saccharine.

From all my years watching Sesame Street there is plenty of housing in those cool brownstones and if a kid is adventurous there is a gient birds nest they can try out. All in all I think it is about the best idea I have come up with since the island so it is fitting that it is a spin off of such a place. There has to be balance in the universe and I think Sesame Street balances out My Island perfectly. :)

My Island: Fourteen Reasons Why

For those of you not familiar with the "My Island" concept please refer to my older posts by clicking on the "My Island" label at the bottom of the post. There are five I believe.

The short of it is, certain people annoy me to the point that I banish them to an island where they are to live their life out among others that annoy me. There they cannot harm the rest of us with their politics, their stupidity or their general annoying nature. Here is a list of current residents:

On the island:

Ann Coulter

Rick Santorum (escaped and captured)

Brittany Spears

Amy Winehouse

Lindsay Lohan

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

My newest addition deserves to be there almost as much as Ann Coulter. Look in the dictionary under the word 'selfish' and this woman's picture will be there. She has dragged her whole family down with her and still continues to defend herself on primetime and any media outlet that gives her fifteen minutes. That's right, it's Octo-mom, Nadya Suleman.

I held off on sending her to the island for 14 reasons. Her kids. This topic "My Island" is all in good fun but when I was putting this post together I started thinking about what will happen to those kids, even if their horrible mother was around. I struggled with even sending her...until today.

Today my first assumptions about why this woman decided to turn her 'vagina into a clown car' (props to Cherlyn for that phrase) were verified. She is panhandling via the internet. Yes, the woman who said she was never on welfare or accepted government money for having all those kids is asking YOU to support them via donations on the internet (not like you aren't going end up supporting them via your taxes or anything). Oh, she also lied about the not accepting $$ from the government, she is on food stamps. Excellent. I am not providing you with the link to said site because as you bloggers know, the more traffic she gets the more $ she gets. This is what she wanted all along. She decided to have multiples to cash in on the books, reality tv and bleeding hearts. She neglected to realize that those that DO have reality tv shows, etc because of their large family sizes did not TRY to have large families in order to GET a tv reality show. She did it backwards. Oh...she is also crazier than Jim Jones but just as self-centered.

I decided that she was done. She needs to be removed from the population NOW. I am worried that she and Rick Santorum might try to start a new race so precautions will need to be taken. Rick will need to be castrated. This will be performed by Ann Coulter. She agreed to do this as long as we provided her with a newsfeed of C-SPAN and a voo doo doll. I let her also pick the method of castration.

So Nadya will be welcomed with open arms by the other crazies that are there and we will not have to watch her pimp her children out to the world anymore. I think that is just lovely.

Now...the kids. What to do with the kids. While we are on the subject, what about the other kids of the inhabitants?

Tune in Monday for my "My Island" spin off. "What About the Kids?"

On the island:

Nadya Suleman
Ann Coulter
Rick Santorum (escaped and captured and neutered)
Brittany Spears
Amy Winehouse
Lindsay Lohan
Elisabeth Hasselbeck

My Island: Standby Passenger Off to the Island

If you are new to my blog you can catch up on My Island here. If you want to read more about it, click on the "My Island" label at the end of the post.

This is how the Stand-by/Inhabitants list stands:

Stand-by:

Jamie Lynn Spears

Elizabeth Hasselbeck

On the island:

Ann Coulter

Rick Santorum (escaped and captured)

Brittany Spears

Amy Winehouse

Lindsay Lohan

First lets start off with a removal from Stand-by. Jamie Lynn has managed to stay out of my face for awhile now. If she remains quiet and non-stupid, she can live her life among the general population. I don't see her as a threat to young girls at the moment. If she starts throwing herself and her child into the media, then we'll revisit her. Use your time wisely little girl.

Update on escapee Rick Santorum: Rick managed to somehow squeeze himself into an empty crate that was picked up via helicopter (no one who is not sent to the island has to lay foot on it) after one of the food drops and escape. There had been a secret message encoded in a letter that was supposedly from his wife but was actually from Rupret Murdoch asking Rick to be on a panel of politicians on election night on Fox news (I realize that Fox is conservative but having this idiot on may have pushed some Republicans to become Independents). Rick was captured as he was leaving the studios and transported back to the island where he will remain in the stocks until after the swearing in of Barak Obama.


Now for the big news. I have decided to move Elisabeth Hasselbeck to My Island. I had her on stand-by for a long time because although I don't agree with her views, I don't watch The View enough to get a feel for her. Those ladies are pretty tough and getting words in edgewise looks very difficult. I figured that maybe she would grow out of her petulant nature. We all deserve that chance (hell, I'd probably be on my own island if I didn't grow some sense). Well, on the advice of a fellow blogger, at Different is Always Good, I decided to take a deeper look at Liz. I watched a good deal of You Tube videos, did some reading and I realized why she irks me so, she has no idea what she is talking about. Here is a woman who has all the means to do good research into her views and ideals and how to back them up and she doesn't do it. She just comes across as, "I am right because I think I am and here's some crap I read on a conservative website." This bothers me. I have many opinions on many topics. Do I address them all in public? No. Why? Because I feel there are some subjects which I don't have enough knowledge to accurately illustrate my point. Liz has no such filter, has had enough time to develop one and made no strides to do so. She is on a daily show with intelligent women and she is coming across as the opposite, not as in opposite of Democrat but opposite of a savvy intelligent woman. You can see it in the way she talks and in her body language. She is not comfortable with the topics or her stance on those topics. The only thing keeping her on that show is the fact that she has a different opinion than the other ladies. They need a conservative person on there to keep a certain audience.
So Liz, enjoy your flight. I am sure you will find lots to talk about with Ann Coulter and Rick Santorum. I almost feel bad for you having to meet someone that will change your mind about your party...too late. Maybe you can keep Rick company while he is doing his time in the stocks. Amy, Britney and LiLo are sure to annoy the hell out of you but I think that you might find you have more in common with them than you thought. I eventually see you guys as a version of "Friends" but living in a cave or hut made of banana fronds instead of a NY apartment.
On the island:
Ann Coulter
Rick Santorum (escaped and captured)
Brittany Spears
Amy Winehouse
Lindsay Lohan
Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Escapee!

I just lost any respect (albeit I had little) I had for Fox news...For their election reporting...they have Rick Santorum on talking about Liz Dole screwing up her campaign in NC. I have NO idea how he escaped My Island.

My Island: Response to Your Requests

You guys have some great suggestions. Here's a couple reasons why a few of the people you mentioned are not there yet:

Elizabeth Hasselback: She is still young enough that her views could be tempered with knowledge and time. I will however move her to 'stand-by' for that time period.

Paris Hilton: She's kinda playing a part or if she is that useless, she'll self destruct eventually. She's not really causing injury unless you count the little girls that want to be her....hmmmm...I may have to rethink this one.


Judge Judy: Now that is an interesting one. I think she's more an actress than anything though so not insane to the bone like the others. Her power maybe went a little to her head.

Jamie Lynn Spears: She is still young and she is on 'stand-by' because I am waiting to see how she handles herself. If she does better than her sister, she will not be going.

50 Cent: Need to look into.

So, here is how it stands until my next post about it:

Stand-by:
Jamie Lynn Spears
Elizabeth Hasselback

On the island:
Ann Coulter
Rick Santorum
Brittany Spears
Amy Winehouse
Lindsay Lohan

My Island II: A New Member

For those of you that missed my explanation My Island is a place where I send people that irritate me so badly by their presence that they need to be isolated in a place where they can do the least harm to the public. If someone REALLY pisses me off I am known to say, "They better be careful or they are going to My Island." I don't send them there automatically, there is a process and I am very picky about who I scoop out of the rest of the population's gene pool.
So far I have sent:
Britney Spears
Amy Winehouse
Lindsay Lohan
Rick Santorum

Flying stand-by:
Jamie Lynn Spears

Today, I am sending another person. She should have been in the original set but alas, I had forgotten about her for a brief moment when she wasn't trying to hog the political spotlight with her extremest right-wing rantings. She is:

Ann Coulter

This woman used to frighten me because of the filth that spewed from her mouth but with titles for her books such as:

If Democrats Had Any Brains They'd Be Republicans
Godless: The Church of Liberalism
How to Talk to a Liberal If You Must

Well, they really just show that she is a complete fool and thoroughly unimaginative. I mean, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that if you dye your hair (badly), starve yourself and wear sexy clothing on a book cover, drooling men are going to pick it up. She actually thinks that her message is getting through to people because of her book sales. Here are some lovely comments by Ann as gathered by Wikipedia:
On October 8, 2007, Coulter ignited yet more controversy when she was quoted as saying that Jews should be "perfected" into Christians. She was talking about Republicans with Donny Deutsch, a Jewish CNBC talk-show host, and implied that she considered Christianity a virtue. Deutsch asked her, "It would be better if we were all Christian?", to which Coulter replied "Yes". Deutsch asked her, "We should all be Christian?", and got the same response, with an invitation to come to church. Later on, Coulter said, "we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say", saying that this was what Christianity was, and she compared the 'New Testament to Federal Express. Further, Coulter said that Christians considered themselves to be perfected Jews. Deutsch implied that this was an anti-Semitic remark, but Coulter said she didn't consider it to be a hateful comment.[62]

...about 9/11 Widows
These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis. These self-obsessed women seemed genuinely unaware that 9/11 was an attack on our nation and acted as if the terrorist attacks happened only to them. ... I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much ... the Democrat ratpack gals endorsed John Kerry for president ... cutting campaign commercials... how do we know their husbands weren't planning to divorce these harpies? Now that their shelf life is dwindling, they'd better hurry up and appear in Playboy.[88]

...It would be a much better country if women did not vote. That is simply a fact. In fact, in every presidential election since 1950—except Goldwater in '64—the Republican would have won, if only the men had voted.

So Ann, your idiocy and complete lack of knowledge about the world around and your continuous misinterpretation of what you don't know you has earned you a trip to My Island. You are a hateful person and the female equivalent to Dorian Grey. I am sure you and Rick will get along well. Maybe you and Brit can dye each other's hair. I'll send some peroxide in the next supply drop. She seems to know a little more about it than you.

My Island Part I

I am a pretty impatient person. I can also be quite judgemental...but it takes some really stupid, awful HAM (hot ass mess) people to make "My Island".

My Island is a place where I imagine I can place the idiotic, stupid, no common sense people (mostly celebs and politicians) that I really don't feel like dealing with anymore. When I say, 'deal with' I mean not be smacked in the head in the grocery check out line by insane headlines or just plain invade on my consciousness. My office mate and I seem to discuss this more than I do with other people for some reason. He'll say, "Is that person on your island?" and I'll think about it before giving an answer.

I am very selective about who is sent there and I wonder what their interactions would be like. It's like my own version of The Simms. Would Brittany and K-Fed get back together if they were there (by the way, the kids are innocent so they don't go)? Would Rick Santorum (politician with a bad column in the Philadelphia Inquirer) find anyone to preach his no logic religious, nazi-like crap to? What would Amy Winehouse do without a good salon and caring dealer? Would Lindsay Lohan be able to live with out leggings and would she strike up a relationship with Amy Winehouse just to piss of Rick Santorum? Jamie Lynn is on the stand by list for the island. I am still on the fence about her. If she is just stupid, that is one thing. She needs a few more points to get her there.

I am not a mean person, there would be food drops every now and again along with the proper medications to keep nasty infections from spreading to the animals that might be there. Trust me when I say I think the animals are smarter than the humans so I think they would most likely stay away from the campsite. They would be provided with reading material and as long as they didn't try to wipe their butt with it or roll it up and smoke it, they would get more.

I would like to tell you more stories about My Island and there will be more. I just thought I'd give you a little intro today. Got people you'd like to place on an island. Feel free to make up your own as well. We all need to compartmentalize sometimes to get through the day.