Writers WorkShop: Don't You Just Want to Squeeze Him...Just Not too Hard

This is M-dog.

Isn't he a cuddle-umpkins?

You better say yes or I will sick his sister G-dog on you and she will jump on you until you let her kiss you on the face.

M-dog is a big love bug who is a scardy cat. His jumping around when we encounter other dogs on walks (and teenagers in black shirts and white vans and the occasional blow up chair) is often misconstrued as aggressive dog behavior.  It is hard to see him not be able to romp with other doggies besides G-dog and to constantly look out for other dogs around corners and such. 

You might think this is his worst trait and while it is difficult to deal with at times, the fact that we know he is a cuddly bunch of love is fine.  He does have another issue that is most difficult to deal with, on normally associates with beer guzzling, junk food eating, snoring, uncouth men...

he farts!


Yes, you say, all dogs fart.  Yes they do but do they wake you in the middle of the night with their silent stench?  Oh, yes...they are the silent but deadly type.  You never have time to prepare.  It can happen anywhere and at anytime.  Is it associated with an urgent need to use the facilities (grass, bushes, etc)?  No, he will let one fly foul just after he's been ...um...out.  Is it when he is scared?  Sure it has happened but is not narrowed down to a stressful squirt. 

M-dog is exceptionally good at carpet bombing or crop dusting; walking in to a room, letting one loose and walking out.  Then when you turn up your nose and pass out he is confused. 

I sincerely wonder sometimes if he doesn't even know that thing came from him.  He likely thinks the smell came from one of us and probably likes it less than we do because he cannot distinguish it as his 'own brand'.  In his mind we are the foul humans who need a bath or Beano or something. 

Still you can't help but want to love him and cuddle him and squeeze him...like I said about though...just don't squeeze too hard...you don't know what might...um...what you might unleash.

Can't Fix Stupid

I have a temper. Anyone who has played football with me has seen it. It is jokingly referred to as "Red Jen" as in "Red Ross" from a Friends episode. I went Red Jen today with somethings I saw on Facebook.
See that picture above. The cute black and white doggie sleeping in the sun with his rabbit (under his paw) and flying squirrel face (next to his nose)? That doggie that snuggles with me and licks away my tears and running sweat should be dead according to some people. Do you know why? He is part pitty. Yep, the lab/pit mix I have should be illegal and euthanized. Do you know why? He is vicious. So vicious that he runs from the vacuum cleaner, the opening of new garbage bags and shakes when there are fireworks in the vicinity. He is such a frightening specimen of canine aggressiveness that you must protect yourself from the nosy nudges for head scratches and belly rubs. Worst of all is when he pulls his lips back and...smiles when you say "Hi M-dog!" or give him his dinner or take him outside.

There are people I was arguing with for awhile that think that all Dobermans, Rotties, German Shepherds and any other dog with a big mouth that could possibly kill anything should be illegal and killed.

I stopped arguing when they said that part. I just simply said, "I can't argue with you anymore. I can't fix stupid."

How Could this Have Happened?

I usually try very hard not to do two negative posts in a row but the anger and sorrow and almost shame I feel being a human right now is about to make me physically ill.

Ban on Dog Fighting Videos Struck Down in Supreme Court

I have two rescue dogs. I treat them like my children in my heart but I know they are dogs and they are treated like dogs because it would be detrimental to them to treat them as humans. Let's just get that out of the way. What these videos show is absolutely horrifying. Anyone who gets pleasure from watching something like it should be sterilized immediately, i.e. taken out of the gene pool. Why? It means you are a sociopath/psychopath and will likely torture animals and move on to children and adults. That is the progression of a serial killer.

BUT

That is not my point. What these videos are showing is an illegal act in all 50 states. As I see it, murder of a human being is also illegal in all 50 states but if we were to market and sell snuff films or maybe videos of people being raped violently, I guess that would be ok.

Make no mistake, I am not equating humans and other animals, I am stating that it looks like the Supreme Court has decided that the videotaping of an illegal incident, ANY illegal incident is not illegal and people can profit from said incident. Does that make you feel good about the state of our country? It scares me to death.

Dear Neighbors

Dear Neighbors,
Good morning! I hope you enjoyed that lovely weekend. I noticed several of you working hard on your curb appeal. Just beautiful. I have one favor to ask. I know we all want our lawn that perfect shade of rich green that really is not actually attainable in nature but being in the suburbs it is beaten into us that our lawn must be perfect at any cost. When you or your chemical company come to treat your lawn, is it possible that you keep the weed killing poison, scary genetically modified lawn food off the sidewalk? I mean, there is not grass ON the side walk and you are technically wasting all those chemicals when you could be using them in your backyard or something. For me, I don't want my dogs walking on it and I don't want it on the bottom of my shoes, being tracked into the house. I am pretty sure anyone with kids doesn't want that either. You see, if you look on the bag of most brands of lawn treatment it tells you in bold letters that kids and pets should not be near it and that it is a poison of sorts.

So, I'll make a deal with you. You stop spreading that crap on the sidewalk (I know this is possible because we have a spreader too, just use the guard on it) and I will continue to pick my dog's crap off the curb side of your lawn. If you hold up your end of the bargain, great. If not G-dog and M-dog will be leaving presents for you that your lawn chemicals can do nothing about.

Have a wonderful day!

New Addition (ok...since you last heard from me)

When you last heard from me, I had not yet gone on vacation. This particular vacation was to be an interesting one as we ended up leaving a day early for a very special reason.

This is M-dog. He is a rescue from down south and had been staying with a nice foster mommy in New Hampshire. We saw his video on Facebook and our hearts were stolen. We had been thinking for a long time that G-dog needed a buddy and since New Hampshire was not too far from the Cape, we decided to meet M-dog and his foster mommy halfway in between the Cape and her home. We found a state park where we could all take a walk together. This pic is the result of that walk, we took him home on the long ride back to PA.

M-dog was a sweetie right off the bat. He played with G-dog and liked to cuddle (something G-dog had never been fond of, Miss Independent). He was a tad possessive with his food but only to grumble a bit if G-dog go to close to the bowl. We met other doggies and went to the dog park. Finally the day came when we decided to introduce him to my brother's dog. That was when things started to go downhill...

To be fair, we were the one at fault here. We did this ALL wrong from the moment we brought M-dog back. We should have slowly socialized him instead of assuming that all was hunky dory. You see, we saw very quickly that Morgan had fear aggression towards larger dogs and Gatsby was a MUCH larger dog. The growling, snarling and jumping around that happened when M-dog met Gatsby was very scary. This was horrible news for us as we used to spend many long days together, Gatsby, G-dog and the rest of my family. We never even thought for one moment that there would possibly be a problem with M-dog and Gatsby. It gets worse though. After that confrontation, he started to have problems with other large dogs at the dog park and then smaller dogs. We had no idea what changed in our happy wiggly boy. He and G-dog still got along well even if he was a bit of a bully and he adored us. We felt like we broke our dog. :(

Our salvation was in Carol Siegrist. We took a class specifically for 'reactive' dogs. She gave us tools to help M-dog not to be so crazy around other dogs and he LOVED the attention of getting to go to class with me and P and get lots of treats. We are still working with him but he has come such a long way.

We wonder what might have happened to this sweet guy if he'd gotten with people that were not willing to put the time and effort in to him. It happens every day. People get a dog, they don't work with it and when it doesn't read their mind, they dump it. It breaks my heart daily. If you are considering getting a dog, please consider adoption. We are a rare case. Usually, when you adopt locally, especially with a rescue group, you can have many meetings to make sure all is ok between you and the dog and your surroundings. You also have a local support network if problems arise. We adopted M-dog on the spot and hoped it would be ok and, you know what, 95% of the time it is ok. It's actually wonderful. All I have to do is see an ASPCA commercial on TV, look at M-dog and G-dog and know that we saved two lives and in return, they made ours so much better.