Writers WorkShop: Don't You Just Want to Squeeze Him...Just Not too Hard

This is M-dog.

Isn't he a cuddle-umpkins?

You better say yes or I will sick his sister G-dog on you and she will jump on you until you let her kiss you on the face.

M-dog is a big love bug who is a scardy cat. His jumping around when we encounter other dogs on walks (and teenagers in black shirts and white vans and the occasional blow up chair) is often misconstrued as aggressive dog behavior.  It is hard to see him not be able to romp with other doggies besides G-dog and to constantly look out for other dogs around corners and such. 

You might think this is his worst trait and while it is difficult to deal with at times, the fact that we know he is a cuddly bunch of love is fine.  He does have another issue that is most difficult to deal with, on normally associates with beer guzzling, junk food eating, snoring, uncouth men...

he farts!


Yes, you say, all dogs fart.  Yes they do but do they wake you in the middle of the night with their silent stench?  Oh, yes...they are the silent but deadly type.  You never have time to prepare.  It can happen anywhere and at anytime.  Is it associated with an urgent need to use the facilities (grass, bushes, etc)?  No, he will let one fly foul just after he's been ...um...out.  Is it when he is scared?  Sure it has happened but is not narrowed down to a stressful squirt. 

M-dog is exceptionally good at carpet bombing or crop dusting; walking in to a room, letting one loose and walking out.  Then when you turn up your nose and pass out he is confused. 

I sincerely wonder sometimes if he doesn't even know that thing came from him.  He likely thinks the smell came from one of us and probably likes it less than we do because he cannot distinguish it as his 'own brand'.  In his mind we are the foul humans who need a bath or Beano or something. 

Still you can't help but want to love him and cuddle him and squeeze him...like I said about though...just don't squeeze too hard...you don't know what might...um...what you might unleash.

Writes Workshop Wednesday: Letter to Me at 10 Years Old

Dear Jenni,

Right now, you are starting to feel the effects of learning from the world around you as opposed to the school-like way of learning from books. Here's a tip to make it easier, read the stuff you are interested in and then apply it to what you are doing in school! I know, fractions are really hard but think about how it applies to the number of M&M's in a bag or how full your bowl of ice cream is. Trust me. You will be so happy with this later.

I know you desperately want the nuns and teachers to like you as much as they like L. It seems like because she learns differently than you, they like her better. She's not better than you, just different. You need to learn how to be friends with your sister because later in life you will regret fighting with her for so many years and will wonder what it would have been like to have that close friendship you missed out on. I know she is mean but just try.

Treasure the time you have with Mom and Dad. They love you like no one else and will do everything within their power to make you happy. Spend time with them. Find out about their childhoods and what it was like for them growing up. Do the same for Ada next door and any of Mom's elderly friends. These people have so much wonderful things to share with you.

You are beautiful, always. Don't try to do things to get people to like you. This is important now and as you get older. I can't go into specifics now but turning yourself inside out to make yourself something you are not will hurt later.

I really don't know how to end this letter. Just know I love you little person and I hope to love the person you will become.

Writers Workshop Wednesday: I wish I could...

I wish I could run. I see people every morning running/jogging. They have a serious look about them as if they know they are doing something good for themselves. There is concentration there and focus.

They are not walking the dog and picking up poop.

The run is all about them. They don't worry that they might not look good in the gym or that they may fart during Child Pose. They are out there on their own, sweaty, possibly gassy, with the wind in their face and th3e knowledge that they are winning the battle against poor health.

I wanna feel like that.