Wednesday, December 10, 2008

What Were YOU Doing at 2am This Morning?

G-Dog: *making smacking sounds with dry mouth*

Me: Go drink your water if you are thirsty.

G-Dog: I'm not thirsty. Oh, hey you're up. I think I need to go outside.

Me: No. It's 2am and you don't have to go out. You just want to see if the skunk is still outside.

G-Dog: No I don't. *pout, pout...licking face of human* I really have to go.

Me: That makes no sense. You went at 11pm and you always sleep till 7am and when we do go on our morning walk you wait FOREVER to pee and then do it at intervals. Makes me think you aren't exactly crossing your legs.

G-Dog: No, I really gotta go. You know if you had gotten up when I first asked you we would be done by now and you could have been asleep. *more licking and wagging of tail*

Me: FINE! But you are drinking a little water when you come back in. That lip smacking is keeping me up.

G-Dog: Ok, no problem.

Me: *Get up, put on robe. Walk to the kitchen.*

G-Dog: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You are the best! *much excitement and smiling*

Me: *Get leash and put on. Walk outside.*

G-Dog: *ZING! as she darts for the neighbors lawn obviously after something*

Me: HEY! What are you doing. You said you had to pee and that you weren't going to go after the skunk. What the hell! I am in my bathrobe and a tee shirt. I don't have time for this crap.

G-Dog: It wasn't a skunk. It was Orange Kitty.

Me: You are not allowed to chase Orange Kitty. You know that! What about peeing!?

G-Dog: Ok, ok. Let me find a good spot *sniffing and walking in circles*

Me: I don't care about a 'good' spot just effing PEE!

G-Dog: jeez, ok, ok. *relieving herself* See I TOLD you I had to go!

Me: You did not, you just CHOSE to go now to save face.

G-Dog: I had to save face? Who is the one in a tee shirt, robe and no shoes outside at 2am?

23 comments:

Amy said...

This is only ONE of the reasons I have no pets. :)

asthmagirl said...

I have had that conversation with Madeline more than once. Of course she has a bladder the size of a pea and must clean her feet for 10 minutes after she comes back in.

But her ears smell so good!

What color bathrobe?

Mama Dawg said...

Oh, man. That was hysterical...

My conversations with Max go something like this...

Max: Can I hump your leg? Can I hump your leg? Oh, look a squirrel. Can I hump your leg? Is that ice cream? Can I hump your leg? Can I, can I, can I?

Snooty Primadona said...

Something tells me dogs are waaaay smarter than they let on. Otherwise, how could they possibly get us to do all those stupid human tricks?

Rhea said...

G-Dog's sassy. lol I love it.

Muffy Willowbrook said...

My Dog and G-Dog have the same BRAIN.

sj said...

this is so fantastic - mostly because i've had such similar conversations with bales.

i believe the exact quote is something like: "your water is *right there.* go GET it if you're thirsty. Mommy is trying to sleep!"

it's good to see someone else has these conversations :)

ps- i tagged you...

FunnyGal KAT said...

Oh man, I did the 4 a.m. visit outside in freezing weather just last week. I tried to convince the dogs they didn't really need to go out and could they please wait two more hours and please just let me go back to sleep. But, nooooo, they swore they had to go... and they did. But I still think they could have held it until the sun came up.

BS5 Blogger said...

The perfect G Dog post! C'mon Scargoun, what are you doing to that dog!! ?

KDLOST said...

man, your dog and my dog must communicate via the twilight bark. before my dog moved to her cozy nook on the back porch complete w/doggy door, she would wake me at 3 a.m. NEVER FAILED.

cute story, by the way!

Los said...

G-dog would've gotten a good talking to if she were my dog.

Katy said...

I love your G-Dog posts, my husband has been looking into buying us a Labrador, i can't wait!
My cat does the same thing at the moment but she just wants to go out at night to eat our native wildlife :-)

Jen said...

LOL!!!! I give you reasons not to have kids, well you give me reasons not to have a dog.

Sue said...

You and G-dog have such a nice relationship!

Caroline said...

Bwahahahaha that's as much work as having kids!

honkeie2 said...

I have kids no need for pets. I go outside to take the garbage out all the time in nothing more than my boxers. And usually its the ones with the button missing.

Suburbia said...

that's so funny! They're worse than children :)

Last Place Finisher said...

This cracked me up. Reminds me of all the conversations that I've had with my dogs in the middle of the night.

Lula! said...

Seriously...you took the dog out at 2 am?

Please drink heavily this weekend. You have earned it big time!

Nina said...

Hehe... We have a fat golden retriever who is up at 5AM every morning nudging us with her nose because she thinks it is time to eat. The dog lives for food.

But I was up at 2 AM feeding my baby. It is just one of the many times I get up in the night. FUN!!!

~Sheila~ said...

I know that scenerio all too well. Except now I keep the dogs outside cause they pee ALL THE TIME.

TattooedMinivanMom said...

At least you didn't lock yourself out. Right?

Marilyn said...

Having four dogs I know this scenario quite well.....
They can be very convincing when they have an agenda :}