G-Dog: *making smacking sounds with dry mouth*
Me: Go drink your water if you are thirsty.
G-Dog: I'm not thirsty. Oh, hey you're up. I think I need to go outside.
Me: No. It's 2am and you don't have to go out. You just want to see if the skunk is still outside.
G-Dog: No I don't. *pout, pout...licking face of human* I really have to go.
Me: That makes no sense. You went at 11pm and you always sleep till 7am and when we do go on our morning walk you wait FOREVER to pee and then do it at intervals. Makes me think you aren't exactly crossing your legs.
G-Dog: No, I really gotta go. You know if you had gotten up when I first asked you we would be done by now and you could have been asleep. *more licking and wagging of tail*
Me: FINE! But you are drinking a little water when you come back in. That lip smacking is keeping me up.
G-Dog: Ok, no problem.
Me: *Get up, put on robe. Walk to the kitchen.*
G-Dog: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You are the best! *much excitement and smiling*
Me: *Get leash and put on. Walk outside.*
G-Dog: *ZING! as she darts for the neighbors lawn obviously after something*
Me: HEY! What are you doing. You said you had to pee and that you weren't going to go after the skunk. What the hell! I am in my bathrobe and a tee shirt. I don't have time for this crap.
G-Dog: It wasn't a skunk. It was Orange Kitty.
Me: You are not allowed to chase Orange Kitty. You know that! What about peeing!?
G-Dog: Ok, ok. Let me find a good spot *sniffing and walking in circles*
Me: I don't care about a 'good' spot just effing PEE!
G-Dog: jeez, ok, ok. *relieving herself* See I TOLD you I had to go!
Me: You did not, you just CHOSE to go now to save face.
G-Dog: I had to save face? Who is the one in a tee shirt, robe and no shoes outside at 2am?