Scargosun's Grudge Classification System

I have often wondered what constitutes a grudge as opposed to an unpleasant memory of a person. Grudge is a very negative word and I would hate to be harboring unneeded negativity. I mean that movie was pretty scary (I'm told, you know I don't watch that) and there were like icky demon-like things associated with it. Are these what grudges look like on our soul? If so I am in trouble. Maybe if I classify my grudges I can reduce the amount of soot on my soul.

Scargosun's Grudge Classification System
Large Scale Grudge(LSG):
You cannot help but think of revenge when you think of this person. You look for the karma bus to hit them repeatedly about the head and upper torso. They don't go away and they don't get downgraded.
Scargosun LSG Count: 2 maybe 3

Medium Scale Grudge (MSG):
You rarely think about these people. They come up in conversation or in a memory of something related. You don't wish harm upon them every time you think of them but you don't wish them well either. If you see them in public, brief bursts of LSG feelings might surface but will abate. These grudges can be downgraded over time.
Scargosun MSG Count: 1
*note - ironically enough I actually hold MSG - the additive as an MSG after I feel the effects. I know it's not a person but I thought of it in this way as soon as I started the discription.

Small Scale Grudge (SSG):
These are grudges that can almost be classified as just bad memories. You are able to look at them in perspective and learn from the events that caused the grudge. What makes them different from a bad memory is that you hold onto it in a negative way still rather than just moving on. SSG's are bad because if you are not careful, they can upgrade rather than downgrade depending on the state of your mind and the number of Prozac left in the bottle.
Scargosun SSG Count: @10

Temporary Grudge (TG):
These are temporary and most of the time go away on their own. In rare cases if provoked enough (constant contact with person who caused it, repeated reminders of person by others, etc) it can be upgraded to any of the grudges on the scale. Temporary grudges are the worst because they can just happen for small reasons that can be blown out of proportion (a perceived slight by friends or co-workers, an email tone interpreted in the wrong way, a reminder of another grudge or bad memory, etc). Most of the time, these grudges pass by the wayside and become bad memories. However, if you let them fester under the guise of not wanting to deal with it or giving it time, they can get worse quickly hurting people and friendships.
Scargosun TG Count: @ 5

I wrote this out of both amusing and sad things that were brought to my attention this week. One involved Facebook and my inability to friend someone because that person dumped me the day after I bought a prom dress to go to their prom in high school (SSG).

The other is the sad one and as Forrest Gump says, "That's all I have to say about that."

Yes Dear, That Bruise in My Nether Region is from Shoveling

So P has been away for a few days. Naturally we would get a snow/ice/crap storm while he is away. Now, I shoveled last time it snowed and it was that light fluffy stuff. Very easy took no time at all.

Today, not so much.

It was that slushy combo of snow and ice that refused to stay on the shovel and dropped to the place you just managed to clear. At one point I was not paying attention to my shoveling form and I was pushing the snow/slush like a plow. I hit something with the front of my shovel and it stopped yet my body kept going forward and I managed to stab myself with the handle right smack dab in my crotchital area.

There were a couple tears and a yelp a little moaning and I remained in a bent over position as I dragged myself to an area where the neighbors would not see me. (Seriously, what was I going to say if they asked what happened?) Eventually, I sucked it up and finished the job.

When I went to take a shower, I examined my wound and yes, a nice bruise was forming there about 5 inches below my belly button. Hopefully P will believe me when I tell him about how it got there.

It's Cold Up There

So yes. I have been neglecting my blog. I can see my error and I am dealing with it. Although, I have a good excuse...

It's cold in my office at home

No seriously it is flippin' cold. I go up there, the dog comes up, looks at me like, "Are you kidding me? I am going to go back downstairs, grab some trash out of the trash can and relax in the heated portion of the house."

Then I am all alone. It is sad, I know. You feel bad for me.

I have tried taking tea with me but it freezes too quickly for me to take warmth from it. It is even more pitiful when I have to chip away the ice skin on the top just to drink it. I have tried the portable heater but P freaks out about the electric bill when I use it.

That leaves trying to eck out a post here and there at work. Did you know they frown upon that? I am supposed to be doing THEIR work not mine apparently. They tell me they pay me for it.

So, because I love you all (all meaning the people that still remember me) I will be retreating to my upstairs home office more regularly now, eschewing evening re-runs of CSI and NCIS (yes I am a geek).

I am back and I will be back again tomorrow. :)

AYFKM: Chicken Pox Party?

I was listening to the radio this morning and my local morning show brought up the topic of "Chickenpox Parties" and I was intrigued. I could not listen to the entire conversation because I needed to get out of my car and get into work. What I did hear really bothered me.

I have worked in healthcare pretty much since highschool when I worked as a pharmacy tech up to about three years ago when I was running a disease tracking program along with a website for a well known pharma company. Go ahead, call me evil. Anyway, I believe in vaccines. I always have and I always will. You will not sway me on this topic, don't try. So when I heard that parents were purposely exposing their children to chicken pox so as to avoid them having to get the chickenpox vaccine, I was deeply angered. You see I am living proof that the antibodies that you get from catching chicken pox do not last a lifetime.

I have had the chickenpox twice. No, I do not have a problem with my immune system. No, I did not have one or two 'pox' and then get a worse case later. I really had it twice. I had the fevers, the itching, the lack of sleep, the embarrassment of having sores all over your body...during the summer (both times). Knowing how that felt and knowing that there is no 'get it once and your never get it again' immunity (and yes, you can get mono after you have had it once) I am sickened that anyone would expose their child knowingly to such a disease when there IS in a vaccine that can help either prevent the disease or at least get a weaker case. There is an article in "Mothering" magazine about Chickenpox Parties that made me sick to my stomach. It talks about developing 'natural immunity to Varicella (chickenpox virus). I am sorry but there is not one natural thing about this 'party' process. Naturally getting a disease means you come into contact with it, on your own. Actually forcing the illness upon a child is chilling and I am sorry, I am going to say it, negligent.

It is negligent because they don't have any clue as to how their child is going to react to the disease. Did you know that the fevers from chicken pox can cause swelling of the brain? Yes, fevers can be treated but since these parents are trying a 'natural' way of getting antibodies I am going to go out on a limb here and say they probably are not going to dose their child with Tylenol or Ibuprofen if their child gets a fever. They might take them to the ER (and then thanks again for continuing the spread) but if the fever is high enough for long enough, damage is already done. Also, chickenpox sores can easily become infected causing scarring and possibly secondary infections that, if left untreated (again, going to the 'natural' thought thing again) could cause serious complications.

If you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know I am all for organic and local living but I have the Hep B vaccine and I get my flu shot every year (yes it does work and no you cannot get the flu from the flu shot) and when I am in my 60's I will get the pneumoina vaccine. If I have children, they will be vaccinated with all the required vaccines. Why? I don't want my children to get sick from preventable diseases and I would not want them to pass them on to anyone else. Don't even try to tell me, "You're not a parent, you wouldn't understand." because I do understand. I understand the science and the risks probably better than many people because I am just that smart and I do my research.

Still Alive, Barely

I am still alive but buried under work. I have not given up blogging and I will try to post from home more often but our office is freezing in the house. :)

Here is something funny I thought about the other day.

When I drop off UPS envelopes in the drop box at work, I am very careful to make sure that my keys are not in the hand that is dropping off the envelope because I am scared beyond belief that I will drop my keys in the box and have to sit around until 7pm when the driver shows up to get my keys. I seriously think hard about this on an almost daily basis...

Smells Like Summer

So about 4 or so months ago I made a TON of pesto and froze it. We had some tonight after not having it for awhile and when I deforsted it the scent of late summer smacked me in the head like a wayward beach umbrella. I then opened up a bottle of Savingion Blanc and had a similar experience.

Scents have always been a big thing for me. Do you ever have one of those moments when you smell something and it's like a wave just washes over you? The wave contains thoughts, emotions, memories and every bit of an experience that you might have forgotten but could all be brought back less than a blink of an eye? I litterally feel like the wave hits my whole body, blowing back my hair, clothing and the inertia might even make me take a step back. I think that is my most favorite feeling in the world.

Let's Catch Up

So P is fine. He is swollen and the underside of his nose looks GROSS but he is fine. I did a good job I think of taking care of him but by today I was totally over it. Bad wife.

I have had a bad day today as a Trojan Horse virus spewed crap all over my computer. What I don't get is it was my work computer. We are supposed to have uber security on our computers at the office so why is it that my home computer is fine and my work computer is doing the virtual version of the kid in the Exorcist spewing nastiness in the form of pop-ups? I don't get it. I am really hoping I caught it in time because my boss had it, ignored it and had to wipe his hard drive and reinstall EVERYTHING. Just so not good. Mind you, his computer crashed again today and do you know how much work I saved to his hard drive? I almost cried and then I almost crawled through the phone line to wring the neck of the pseudo tech geek when he told me "See the little computer looking icon, that 's the My Computer icon click it for me." WHEN I ALREADY TOLD HIM I HAD A BLACK SCREEN WITH HALT ERROR. Idiot. Why do they put these guys on level one support? Is it just to piss us off when we are at our lowest point? When you try to explain to them that you've been around the inside of a computer before and you are NOT going to reboot again they get all huffy like you've taken away their solution or something.

NOTE: I am NOT bashing all tech guys and gals. I have worked with many good ones in all my previous jobs and one or two in this job. It's just when I need help I don't like wading thru the kiddie pool first.

I apologise now for the lack of inserting paragraph spaces. I know it gets hard to read. Depending on the outcome of certain events in entertainment news, I may have a controversial My Island post coming up. I am still thinking about it, doing research and forming my (correct) opinion.

I am going to go have another beer in the hopes that it will help relax my shoulders and back into their normal position below my ears.

My New Job...Nursemaid

We'll see how long lit lasts. P had surgery today for his broken nose. We needed to be at the hospital by 6:30am so we had to leave the house by 5:45am. I got up at 5am to walk G-dog, expecting to be home early afternoon. Yeah, not so much.

While in the waiting area I got a call on their little phone that it was going to take 3-4 hours JUST for the surgery! What, they had grow him a new nose on the back of a mouse? Anyway, I called my Mom to ask if she could let G-dog out since I was not sure when we would be home. Luckily, it only took 2&1/2 hours and then 2 hours in recovery and then about an hour in the room before we could go. This was not before P got to crack some (what he thought were excellent) jokes and puns to the hospital staff (Example: Gets on the elevator after and asks for the Penthouse and surf and turf for lunch). Oh what pain meds will do. I don't want to know what I didn't get to hear.

He is now in bed, watching TV, bleeding into his gauze (ick) but...

he is home and all went well. :) I am happy and thankful for that.

Posting may still be a bit off as I will have to pick up a couple extra duties while he is recovering.

A Do Nothing Day...Why Is It So Hard?

It's hard for me, probably not a normal well adjusted person.

Last night we hunkered down with wine, cheese, pate, mushroom and seafood risotto (I made!) and then chocolate souflees (a la Trader Joe's). In years past we have treated ourselves to a lovely six course meal at The Marigold Kitchen in West Philadelphia. This year the other couple that usually goes with us had a child so our tradition is skipping a year (just a year I hope). Anyway, P was asllp by 11:30pm and I stayed up to watch the ball drop. I decided as I was falling asleep, that I would do nothing on the 1st, my day off.

Doing nothing is hard for me to get into. I kept finding myself wanting to 'clean up' or straighten things. We had a nice breakfast of eggs, (turkey) bacon, toasted French bread and coffee and when I went into the kitchen I had to will myself away from cleaning (I did put dishes in the dishwasher). As soon as I left the kitchen, I had to tear myself away from the 'tree area' because I was thinking it was time to put away the presents that were still displayed by the tree. I made it to my room and was finally able to find something to make me sit, drink my coffee and not worry about cleaning. I read. I read until 3pm when we pulled on cold weather gear and took G-dog to the dog park.

When we got home, I hopped into a warm shower where I stayed for about a half hour. I took my time using the exfoliating scrub. I looked at it as washing and scrubbing away 2008 and starting fresh for 2009. I know, odd but when you have been reading biographies all day, sometimes you fall into introspection. I emerged from the shower ready to take on the new year (I think my new shampoo and conditioner helped too though). I thought to myself, "I needed this day. I need every day and I just need to learn to live them a little better." :)